3/20/24

It's been a while since I journaled on here! Just had a lot going on.

I've had this long list of crap I need to get done and finances have been holding me back pretty badly. It's crazy how taking one extra day off of work screwed me so badly, it took me weeks to get back to a good spot and stay above my personal threshold for how much money should be in my account. Weeks! All over one extra missed shift.

It's all good though. I noticed I'm starting to feel better lately now that I'm slowly picking apart my list of things that need done. Canceled and closed my commissions (which I felt really bad about but the couple people waiting on me were very nice and understanding) and made an appointment at the DMV so I can get my citizenship in NC. I know it's my fault for waiting so long on that one, but I'm finally getting it done (albeit in June) so it feels good.

I still need to get shit done with my dental and hormonal health but I'm trying not to let things mount and paralyze me anymore. They'll get done, they'll happen! I need to keep going about things calmly. Once I have my NC citizenship too I'll be able to start looking into going to school. I think I've accepted that mortuary work is going to have to be on the backburner; I'm not giving up on it per se but I knew it was going to be difficult to break into, and it has been! But I can't really keep waiting, I'd really like to get a degree and break myself out of retail. I've been thinking about going to school and getting a degree in journalism or English and looking into editorial work.

I'm hoping that taking a step back from commission art will help me get my lust for life back in terms of drawing. I need to remember that it's okay to only draw for myself sometimes.