Sorrow

I had my first co-curricular meeting today at school, I’m part of the girl guides. We had the usual picking roles for people thing where we vote who’s gonna be the leader for this year as well as helpers or whatever they’re called. My school is small so during the whole thing everyone kind of knew everybody when we picked out our candidates (I for one was obviously not chosen for any role). Everybody was laughing and joking around and then it sort of just hit me how I don’t have any sort of close connection to the people around me, the teachers knew me but they didn’t know me. I was just another student but I guess it’s partly my fault I’m not the most memorable person. I’m quiet and generally don’t talk much unless u provoke me to and to add on that I’ve moved schools a lot so I’ve never given people the time to form a bond with me I guess, if that makes sense. I’m just there. And it sucks. I always feel so out of place around crowds especially in school events and I despise it. I’ve felt this way so many times but there’s just no way for me to break out of it. It’s just my fate