Quick rant!!! dont click if u dont wanna hear me rant :)

ik im fine with being single and all but it would be so much better if i had someone to be there for me all of the time. My friends are great, but i dont mean this platonically. Im sick of coming home and having nobody to ask me how my day was and be actually interested in what i have to say. Sometimes it would be nice to have somebody to listen to my rants or hold me and cuddle w me while we watch tv. And it doesnt help that im a total hopeless romantic. i dont get how people can just casually have a relationship. i see every little thing and i crave for them. i just want for some1 to share their snack with me or to just sit in comfortable silence together. it is taking a physical toll on me bc i cant do my schoolwork and sometimes i dont even have the motivation to hang out with friends. my social battery runs out faster and im so depressed that i havent been taking care of myself as much as i should. I hardly eat more than a meal and a half a day and all i do is sleep or watch my phone, even reading is hard for me and i luv to read. i would read a book every two days. I just want someone to care about me the way i want to care about them. Crushes are fun and all, dont get me wrong, but ik they dont care about me or know who i am. Everyone is super homophobic and transphobic and/or rednecks. It hurts a lot to see some of my friends have relationships too, bc ik that i might never experience that. Plus, the past 2 relationships i had didnt work out. 1 cheated on me the whole 3 months we were together and 2 didnt end end up liking me romantically at all. granted, i didnt either since i can hardly tell platonic between romantic, which is stupid. AND idk when people are flirting w me unless they make it incredibly obvious (and i cant flirt either) sorry for ranting, if anybody is even reading this. ive needed to get this off my chest for a while and i dont want to burden my friends since they have their own problems. rude comments arent tolerated bc i might cry lmao