Im sad so im going to write out my feelings on the web

Nothing scares me more than the feeling of never amounting to anything. I feel like no matter what I do, I’m going to grow up to be a failure. That all the hard work my parents did so that I could be brought up well went to waste. I self sabotage myself time after time. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of myself. I want to reset my life just so I can live it the way I’d like to. People around me are so talented. Even if people claim I have talent as well I can’t bring myself to truly believe it. I feel like a faker. I’m just winging through life so that I don’t have an early grave. My life was getting better, I started going out more and I started making new friends. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why. I hate depression. I wish I wasn’t mentally unwell. I long for simplicity in my emotional life. All I can do is pray to god that I get through this again and don’t fucking die.