what level of wacko is this

i realize that my interests are an extremely interpersonal part of myself, they define who i am and how I act at times. i was wondering why i get so defensive when strangers know my special interests or hyperfixations. i think it's something related to adopting media as part of yourself, so you feel bare and open when its exposed to someone you're not comfortable with. it's why i feel so deeply about people and them being connected to certain interests... i can't interact with certain media i used to like without thinking of them. it haunts me! and its so interesting to think about why!

there's this person in my first class, drama, who knows about my ut spinterest. i.. fucking hate them! they haven't done anything to me personally, but if they stand next to me i instinctively move away. it's interesting; I don't know why i feel this way about something so menial. i think they're a good person but. i just don't want them anywhere near me, if that makes sense. like someone knowing a secret about you that you know they're going to tell someone else. but also like not really. yfm??? im totally trying to psychoanalyze myself here like herrmm why is this the way i am. why am i mental like this. yk???