3.chapter - communication with system

Welcome to the episodes called 'Stephan explains'! This chapter will be very important, because it's about C O M M U N I C A T I O N! :)

In last chapter I mentioned about not being afraid to talk with systems, but as well that every system has their own boundaries. Let's talk about it.

First all, it's very important to remember, that you shouldn't yell or harass a system for being a system ("You lie", "You just want an attention" etc.). This is just not normal behaviour, which appears mainly not knowing about DID/OSDD. Second thing is that you DON'T ask about system's traumas. If they want to, they will vent to you about it. Otherwise just don't ask them about it.

Same goes for alters. Don't try to get from them some information, which could trigger them. Don't try to find out their personal informations. Again, if they want to, they will vent to you. 

As well often singlets (people without DID/OSDD) too much ask about these disorders, how it is to have it, how systems live with it and much more. It's not problem for me to explain, but when these questions are already for long time, you know, it's already uncomfortable. We're not NPCs or tutorial leaders, first all we're people.

Now when we together know basic information. Good job for processing it! Now let's talk about how to communicate with a system, when it seems they're triggered or feeling bad. What to do? Answer is simple. Try to calm down them, listen what happened and solve the situation. You SHOULD'T use this situation to find out their deep secrets and other stuff. They need your help and support. 

Cool! Now we know what to do in this case. Oh no... It seems, someone is here too much agressive or doesn't act very good and hurts you and the system! These are either agressive alters or persecutors. Agressive alters are just alters, who have problems with agression. Persecutors are often viewed as 'evil alters', but it's misinformation, especially from endo systems (we will talk about them in next chapters, but in short, endogenic systems are systems who formed without any trauma). Persecutors think they protect system and others, when in reality they don't and harm. 

And what now?

DON'T try to attack them back. It's very possible that they made you hurt or feel angry or even trigger, but it's important to remember that in this moment you need to take deep breath and help them to get into statue when they will be calm. 

But most of the time systems know what to do and even can handle without your help, but they will be grateful, if you will still offer your help towards them. But as well sometimes happens that system doesn't want your help and it can only make things worse. 

That's why communication is really important! 

So that's it! If you have questions, free to ask. Remember we're not professionals, we just want to spread awareness about DIDOSDD, so singlets can know what is it and what to do and someone could find out they're a system. :)