Well that explains it...

That's right folks, being abused, put last and abandoned causes a wide range of long term problems. Who'd have guessed...

Complex PTSD is a very real, very fucked up thing to live with. Especially if you are traumatized from birth, you never even get a chance to develop your brain properly because of it...

I have been so fucking confused every day of my life, unsure of what was happening in so many situations. Now I understand why and I'm trying like hell to change it. 

It's going to be a fight, but one I am dead set on winning. 

I feel the need to document that journey in hopes that it might somehow help someone else. I would also be very grateful for any support from others, I am basically on my own with this and my cheerleading skills are pretty sub par. Lol

I have one supporter in my journey, my best friend.  It had to be fate that we met, she lives thousands of miles away yet somehow I met one of the most important people in my life on Facebook. I don't really have anyone else in my life since I don't have any family members that I'm willing to talk to any longer. It would only make things worse for me and I'm finally putting myself first. 

I realize how rambling and jumbled this probably is but  if you stuck around anyway thank you 😊

If you have any kind words or would like to talk please don't hesitate ❤️ I am grateful for any help on my journey to recovery. I would also love to hear from others struggling with this as well, working together has to be better than fighting through alone.