feeling good about the life im trying to cultivate

(THE MENTAL HEALTH VENT PARAGRAPH TLDR IM UNSTABLE)im not saving face rn im bipolar and ive pretty much been riding the waves of my life, every steep high and extreme low, dissociating the whole time. ive been in a rut of hired and fired and hired and fired and its made me not really wanna pick up a job anymore, and im sick of the lack of control. no meds fix it they have all just made new, worse problems with the side effects. its like i get every single side effect with maybe and hour or so of the benefits

recently i made a goal that i will move out to NC with my bf by January of next year. and i will do anything to get there. i think the set goal has really helped me find direction and it has put a light at the end of the tunnel. im committed now to not hurt my body in any way. because of this ive started to work out for the past few weeks and have actually gained a fair bit of muscle. ive picked up a routine and im cutting people out of my life that dont respect me the same way i respect myself. i even got myself a small job that needs me maybe once a week. im saving that money for things i need. ive always been outdoorsy but i have been feeling more motivation to just randomly get out of the house and go to nature.

so far i think i feel extremely stable. Its like the universe knows im trying to get better and is trying to help me get there. i feel happy when i do these things and start the day off right but i feel myself slip when i dont. i hope i can feel this way forever but im nervous ill ruin it. been feeling amazing tho!