my life is a cluttered mess

i hate how easy it is for my surroundings to get so dirty and messy, when it is clean it probably lasts a few days and then the filth comes back to haunt me. i'm aware i do this to myself but JEEZ. i rot in my bedroom bro, it's so fucking annoying, i wish my brain would just let me get up and finish all the tasks waiting to be done. i highly depend on body doubling when it comes to cleaning, and my boyfriend helps as much as he can but he works alot. i feel so bad... i feel so fucking useless lmfao. idk. just ranting, venting. i feel safe doing so here since i don't personally know any of y'all for the most part haha

undiagnosed mental illness or am i just a slob? i don't fucking know but this has been my entire life