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[for anyone not into kinning+therian stuff feel free to look away. or you can read this to learn about my experience with it if youve always been curious idk]
[also this might be long. sorry i have a sewer for a brain]
experience:
so i'm someone who's been kinning for a long while now, probably over 6 or 7 years? i think even before i knew what kinning was, my first ever kin was the void. like, just the eerie essence and mystery of nothingness. which i think is funny because its one of my biggest fears, kinda. i have a fear of going into completely pitch black rooms not knowing whats inside them, but i guess you attract what you fear most.
when i first got into kinning, and before i realized i was void kin, my first kin was a fictkin, and it was Aly.x from Ha.lf-Li.fe. i say "was" but i still kin her to this day. Ha.lf-Li.fe has been a major part of my life ever since i was 12, and i always felt really connected to Aly.x ever since i started to really look at the game's story. and especially her connection with the G.Man, who is my ultimate favorite character out of any piece of media i've ever consumed.
anyway, over the years i've explored being otherkin as well, and i've come to realize i have 5 of them. Void [of course], Bunny [obvious], Alien, Demon, and Plush. my void and bunny kin are extremely intertwined, to the point where one cannot exist without the other, hence my main persona being a void bunny girl. i truly do feel connected with both exploring the darkness of reality while also showing that i'm trying to get by just like everyone else, and wanting to look cute during it.
the rest of my kins are a lot more simple. i've been fascinated by demons and aliens all my life. i believe aliens exist wholeheartedly, and my love for demons goes all the way back to when i was probably 10 or 11 and trying to summon a "guardian demon". never worked obviously, i don't even believe in any religions. but i still find them extremely interesting- the lore of it all at least. being connected to "aliens" has always been seen as a metaphor for not being seen as normal in society, and granted that i'm a very morbid curiosity centered person, it makes sense for me to feel connected to those two identities.
as for plushies, that's the simplest one. i just really love plushies. i'm 23 and i have a big pile of them in the corner of my room, and there's one i've had in my bed ever since i was 10 or 11. with me being a big girl, i've always loved that plushies get praised and adoration for being fat and fluffy, which just made ME love being fat and fluffy. plushies give such soft and warm energies that i wanna give to other people, especially my loved ones.
i think the funniest thing about being a kinnie is how wildly different my kins are in aesthetics and personality. my Alien kin is a very bimbo y2k kinda girl, my Plush kin is very sweet and childish, my Demon kin is- well. she's a succubus so that explains enough, and my Bunny+Void kin is kinda the combination of them all while also having the appearance of being pretty laid back. but i love it. it gives me the reassurance that i'm a very versatile person who can enjoy pretty much anything.
but with my specific kins, there's a bit of a problem.
community:
christ is it hard relating to people here.
to start, the fictkin side of the community is the type where there's SO many members and always so many people talking about their experiences, but when it comes to interacting- no one seems to talk to each other. they only seem to interact with each other when they share a kin, and even then, they're just silent because they dont actually WANT to share it, because they don't enjoy doubles. so they just end up reblogging/retweeting a stim/mood board based on their kin and then moving on.
i completely understand not wanting doubles! that's your kin experience and seeing someone else claim to be, well, YOU, feels weird. me personally? i dont care, i see it as just a different version of me! and i like alternate universes and different dimensions, its cool.
and the lack of variety when it comes to otherkins/therians... look, i understand, you can't choose who you kin, its a part of you. but the amount of wolf/fox/dog/cat kinnies and therians is INSANE. there's barely any bunnies, barely any aliens, almost no voids. NO plush kins as far as i can tell.
and dear lord. the amount of fallen angels. there's SO many fallen angels. i've barely seen a demon that actually comes directly from hell instead of falling from the heavens. and when i DO see a hellborn demon, they're always talking about how much they hate it.
maybe its because my version of hell is different, but i love being a natural demon. in my hell, satan isn't someone who tries to tempt people into doing sin and thrives on the destruction of humanity. instead he enjoys punishing sinners for wronging the world above and all demons below thoroughly enjoy torturing them for it. we do have fallen angels, but i don't have a canon memory of interacting with one. we also have sinners who were turned into demons in order to atone for their sins. most of them just did things like killing someone in self-defense or stealing to survive, and they live just as fine among us hellborn demons.
idk. i just really wish i could meet demons who actually like their identity and who they are instead of wishing they were an angel again or think they're an irredeemable monster who doesn't deserve to live a peaceful life.
and to be fair, i didn't start out as a succubus. i was actually a regular demon who just tortured sinners, then got promoted to the concubus position.
also the amount of people who are against kinning for fun. its so sad. i get it, i'm someone who kins semi-seriously, but also i first started out as kinning for fun! some people are just different. like how there are people who kin spiritually versus people who just heavily relate to something. for me its odd. i think its a mix of spiritual and kinda feeling like there's different versions of me in other universes. i think the best way i can describe it for me is that i can spiritually connect with the different dimension versions of me.
my point is, taking kinning seriously to the point where it gets to borderline gatekeeping isn't the way to go about it, and that goes for pretty much every community where it's extremely common for people to start out doing it for fun. it severely affects both your mental health and how people see you and the community. be better! do better!
my brain is starting to get fuzzy so, i'll go ahead and wrap this up. please kin responsibly and make sure to have fun while doing it! its a form of self discovery and it should stay that way :]
also if you're a naturally born demon or just one that actually likes being a demon PLEASE INTERACT IM BEGGING. PLESE..................
Comments
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Charlie&Wolfie
I think you're on the wrong side of the community, in my experience this is a lot more a thing in communities that use "kinning" or "kinnie", kinning came from misinformation about what kin is to frame it as a choice (mostly for policing kintypes) and "kinnie" is an insult that came from a transmed Tumblr blog that kind of picked up in more toxic communities. my system has also been around for years, and self-identitifed kinnies was our first experience with genuine mocking ableism in the kin community and it doesn't seem to get much better.
the anti-kff thing isn't really that people are against having fun with their kintypes, kff means people who choose to be kin because they think it's a fun identity. the reason people are against it is because there was a long effort to change the label of what kin means because "actually identifying as a fictional character is too crazy". It's a valid experience, but not really the right label, and that's where stuff like copinglink/otherlink, synpath, and click came from. someone did write an essay/personal account about this whole thing if you want it.
like there are actually quite a few spaces that have actual talks on fictionkin! There's a convention once a year which includes some panels about fictionkin, and there's encouragement of essay writings. I don't really know where you're at, but Tumblr is a lot better than it once was and if you look into alterhuman tags especially, you'll probably be able to find people you can connect to easier.