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Dear Internet,
This is sort of an extension of my most recent bulletin. Sort of using this as a vent space so i don't have to burden anyone with my feelings haha. For context, i'm a dancer, [and as i mentioned an assistant dance teacher and i help with teaching little kids] dance is my life and i don't wont to give it up. My job is as a receptionist in an optometry practice [i'm a casual], and everyone i work with is super amazing and i get huge discounts on glasses and contact lenses, but the actual work [atm at least] is so boring. I almost want to go back to hairdressing but i don't like blowdrying hair.
anyway, so next month my hours increase and i'm basically working full time [which IS good for money, but SUCKS coz i cant teach] and i pretty much can only really go to ONE of my three dance classes, which isn't enough to keep up to speed, and pace to do a Jazz exam. Now the one for this yea IS really hard and i know i MIGHT not be able to do it even if i do put in the work, BUT how can i put in the work if i cant be AT EVERY CLASS. The most hurtful thing is that i am SUPER passionate about dancing, and teaching but not so much about work. Which is okay, you don't have to be SUPER passionate about your job, but my job is stopping me from being able to do what i love and it breaks my heart.
On top of all this, i turn 18 in 8 days, i will legally be an adult. That fact and all the stuff mentioned above just reminds me more that my childhood is slipping away, and once i'm 18, i will have responsibilities that i don't feel ready for, and i know that whole thing of like grow old but don't grow up, but potentially not being able to dance anymore kills me, its a MASSIVE part of who i am and without it i'm just not... Krys. Letting go of that feels like letting go of my teenage years, and my childhood, and i'm not ready for that. maybe i never will be. its just all so scary for me and i just want anything to change.
Thankyou for your time,
Krys XD
Comments
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ori
did you maybe think about joining e-commerce or other more flexible forms of income because let's be honest, you will never ever forgive yourself if you lose your grip with dancing. so don't risk that.
thankyou! to be honest i haven't given it very much thought.. i guess i'm feel like id be very bad with self paced work but i wont know unless i try so i will look into it!
by krys; ; Report
Arda.x
life doesnt become serious or adulthy(is this even a real word?) once you turn 18, i guess it haplens arpund 20s?
Idk im 18
Being adult makes me happy as oppesed to you.
I feel more control over my life and decisions
i just feel like everything is changes, and even tho i wont be an adult adult [does that make sense?] im still not going to be able to do something that is a huge part of my life so it feels more adult-y then it should ig. i cant quit my boring 9-5 job, but i would rather quit work then quit my deepest passion [dance]
by krys; ; Report
Lifes only fun when you are doing things ypu are passionate.
Having a hobbie is cool, although i havemt discovered mine yet.
Can't you find a job somewhat related to dancing?
by Arda.x; ; Report
i could but, i don't have the qualifications for that, not really, and i probably wont get them, i love dance so much, but the qualifications needed is like SUPER SUPER hard
my second job is teaching little kids dance, and thats the one i don't want to give up. but i only make 100$ a week in it so...
i really appreciate you though for letting me talk to you about it thankyou so much
by krys; ; Report
Your welcome!
Wouldn't it be better to work youself off to meet the requirements?
It's more like a work now be happy and don't work and stuck with job you not love situation.
If you can't, try to make your work/workspace more insteresting!
by Arda.x; ; Report