(Tw : messed up shit) Need a opinions on a different story I'm working on.

This story is something I came up with a long time ago, I need opinions on 2 characters.

Cannibal Simon and Cannibal Sally, the names are a WIP but as obvious these are creepypasta inspired

Cannibal Simon is a stereotype of a male being a predator, his character is based off of Simon Petrivok/Ice King

Cannibal Sally is a stereotype of a female being seductive, rather based on the song A Trophy Father's Trophy Son

Cannibal Simon changed happened after he joined a cult unknowingly to try to be better for the sake of his family, and ends up being tortured, lost his dick, and was forced to watch cp. In "delusion", saw a spirit that said it knows how to escape it, just needed to use his body so Simon said yes, turns out the spirit was the dead leader of the cult, and now Simon's body is taken over by a pred, with no dick, to satisfy sexual pleasure, eats and kills very sexually. Simon goes through this torture of watching his own body doing horrid things until he dies. In the end, possessed Simon molest his daughter, while the last paragraph describes how much agony and sorrow real Simon is to witness his own daughter going through that, begging it to stop watching his body eat his daughter, crying for help. I would like to spoil that in the end when Simon is murdered, even though left with trauma, his ghost rather is happy to be stuck on the surface so his daughter won't have to see him again after the event to avoid pain.

Cannibal Sally changed happened when stressing over the fact that she can't make her father proud because she isn't a boy. In exhaustion, saw a ghost that convince her that it can make her into a boy. After a deal, the ghost while possessing Sally, forces her to do rather questionable things to her body. Leading to starvation, herself actually caves in out of the combination of possession and stress from trying to gain approval and starving, she killed her dad and ate him from rather pressure from the ghost than the ghost forcing her to eat her own dad. The ghost grew sin of lust and forced that on her body for the hunger for human flesh. Yet now can't stop eating rather from remorse from killing her father.

(Vent note)

These stories are a work in progress, and correlates to me, and Sally is something I'm really gonna work on because it feels like it should really be feeling and shit, due to it being based on also how I want my father to actually care, and not just want me to be a boy but also my stress and overeating caused rather by remorse. Simon's story may be completely messed up but it correlates to how to really change yourself, and how changed should mostly be for yourself.

I have no editor for this but I started this at my early teens, I think imma try without an editor.

Jesus fucking christ Sally's story needs editing, in my opinion.