The Richard D James Album Robbed Me

Dear Spacehey,

Good evening, I apologize for disturbing the peace on feeling like it's the early 2000's. Today the Richard D James album walked into my humble abode and attempted to steal my belongings. He knocked on the door and as I opened it, he jammed a knife through the 2 centimeter gap (HOW TF!?) and twisted it as hard as he could and it blew the door open hitting the wall and the hinges broke off making the door fly at me and fling me toward the dining room, breaking through a few chairs and broke a leg on the table. He then proceeded to walk in and tear the railing on the stairwell off and rammed it into me as I was trying to stand back up. As I'm laying down with blood spewing out of my mouth, he unties his hair and goes from being the Richard D James album to one of the guys from Slayer. Then he grabs my hair and started repeatedly punching my stomach and more blood starts spewing out. He throws me again, and I go through a wall in my living room and breaks the glass on my table. I'm on the verge of going unconscious but I manage to stay awake. He walks around with a giant duffel bag in his hand and starts taking my things. I barely manage to get up and try fighting him but he uses his knife and stabs my stomach and I fully go down. I could see him in the light and it turns out he's surprisingly buff like I was murdered by Jesus. I'm currently writing this blog in the hospital on my computer where I am about to take my pills that help me treat my schizophrenia. The doctors are saying that I ran outside of my house where a speeding car passed by and hit me. Cops supposedly came by and investigated the scene and an ambulance came by (yeah right!) and picked me up. They said that I was unconscious for 5 hours and that my injuries were very severe, but we all know it was from that bitch Richard. Anyways, I'll post some more blogs later I guess... BYE!!!!

Sincerely, paulsoccer52

P.S. This is a joke letter. My friend came to my house and we just hung out. I probably will make blogs just about my actual life and what not.