axiom's profile picture

Published by


Category: Life

interests, phases, and being bored quickly

image by @tvwishes

As we start to age, an interest or a passion for something is required for our career in the future. Whether it's painting, music, graphic design, writing, there are a lot of careers who possess these elements and need people who have a passion for it. All of those are interests and hobbies I have nibbled on before, but never really committed. 

My dad has ADHD. I never went to a doctor or whatever so I think it's insensitive to diagnose myself but maybe—just maybe, I also have ADHD tendencies. I hyperfixate on certain stuff I find interesting, learn how to do it, and drop it when I don't get good at it immediately or when I get ‘bored’. It's frustrating, really. One of these proofs are how inconsistent my activity is in my SpaceHey profile. 

When the painting I made for the first time didn't look like a Claude Monet painting and my friends (jokingly) mocked it, I dropped it because “it wasn't for me”. When I had a creative block on graphic design and it didn't end, I just decided that God actually intended for me to end it. I'm currently working on my writing and thinking of dipping my toes into music. 

One of my biggest toxic traits is that I hate being not good at something immediately and I hate putting in the work of learning to do something. Whenever I see an artist who has worked on their art for like, a decade, come out with the most beautiful art piece of the century, I get demotivated. I think I'm narcissistic. I like to show off, since it always has been like that. 

Growing up, I was a teacher's pet. Perfect scores and great behavior, so I was always praised by friends, teachers, everyone. I rarely study for anything and get 100s so my friends always say that I'm born ‘smart’. I guess I expected for me to be born multitalented too. 

This is something harmful for my future, probably? I'm scared if I stick with writing and language until I gain wrinkles, I get bored of it and get stuck in a hell I can't get out from. Honestly, that same thing can be said for every hobby I pursue LOL. 

I'm still discovering myself as I grow up, and I don't know—maybe I just get bored of everything because of how fast paced the internet is? Maybe I just haven't really found the perfect interest for myself? Should I actually get checked by a doctor? But one thing is for sure: I want to create art. Not sure what kind.

4 Kudos


Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )