I promised to not become a vegiterian... but am I lying?: A report

I just became aware that I'm lactose AND gluten intolerant. Like what da frick because I like chicken alfrado so that's a double attack. Also wouldn't they like cancel out?

I like vegetables as much as the next person but I'm starting to not like meat. the virus is spreading. I cant even have cheese without pausing my life to fight WWIII on my porcelain throne. My bad, back to the meat. I like beef but not when its corned, I can only do canes type chicken, or grilled boneless. also I only prefer boiled eggs. idk man don't fight me calm down. And pork... only bacon. I rest my case.

I'm kinda aight without gluten except for the fact that its in everything. no cake. no bread. no biscut. no cookie. DAAAAAAWWGGG WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T HAVE A PB&J SANDWICH. I don't have diabetes.

soy milk is interesting and should only be used to make homemade tofu. also I've never had tofu.

the lack of lactose and gluten have turned me into a goblin creature who only eats grass and fungus from the forest.

It's aight tho. Live laugh love.

-YOWZAWOWZA