help? neos + xenos

hello! id like to say that i use neopronouns and xenogenders myself, but i still find myself having questions or doubts about it. recently ive come across people in the community making genders out of disabilities, one that upsets me the most is autismgender. i actually have autism and it makes me feel like its just another thing to infantilize us or to make self-diagnosing people look bad. self diagnosing is really important in our community because of the process to get diagnosed in some countries, or because you just "dont fit the stereotype" and i hate it when people who dont have autism and fake claim it use it for whatever reason there is, and infantilize it. im having my doubts about using neos and xenos now because of this new thing ive found, and i dont want to be apart of a community that does this kind of stuff.
i wrote this blog to ask for more information, or if i just have it wrong. i havent been able to find any information under these disability gender flags. i dont want my emotions or me being upset to rule this decision since i dont know much about these. neos & xenos are something i really connect with.

does anyone know more about this?