IM A YAPPER (volleyball rant!!!!!! read at ur own risk!!)

EHHEHE no one ever rllu looks at my posts so i can just yap into the oblivion about my interests and NOT GET JUDGED

BHEFHGEFD I LVOE VOLLEYBALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVE NEVER PLAYED ON A TEAMadn i have like no experience. I only eve played it in middle school gym class!!!! and last sunday at the park with a bunch of experienced cool peopel!!!!!!
IM A BEGINNER AND IDK WHAT IM DOING SO IM KINDA LIKE HINATA SHOYO YK??? EXCEPT i dont have any athletic abilities!! I cant jump high and i cant run for long periods of time and im ALSO DISABLED SO IF I JOINED A TEAM RIGHT NOW AND PLAYED A 5 SET MATCH ID PROBABLE PASS OUT MID SERVE OF THE 2ND SET BC MY HEART CANT HANDLE MY BODY!!! I have POTS syndrome and myu heart isnt used to beating so much so fast anymore since like 7TH GRADE!!! and the quarentine came along and i stopped being active and then suddenly my heart started being MEAN to me and then all my blood started staying in my legs and i get dizzy all the time

BUT ANYWAYS 

IM LIKE HINATA SHOYO BUT INSSTEAD OF WANTING TO BE A SPIKER, I WANNA B A SETTER BC IT REMINDS ME OF BEING A DRUMMER AND I WAANNA B A DRUMMER IN A BAND which also idk how to play drums... i have a lot of dreams that i havent taken action to achieve WHAT SO EVER!!! i dont even wanna play volleyball professionally I JUST WANNA PLAY IT BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE IT and i wanna be active again!!!

ITS SO CRAZY HOW HAIKYUU ENCOURAGED ME TO STATR TAKING CARE OF MYSELF!!!! Ive started going on walks which my papa said wa GOOD FOR MY HEART and if my heart starts getting used to beating faster than ill be able to play sports in the future AND IM SO EXCITED SO IVE GONE OF WALKS EVERYDAY AND IVE EVEN JOGGED ONCE A WEEK but everytime i go near blacking out so maybe i should be jogging yet BUT IM SO IMPATIENT I RLLY WANNA JOG AND I WANNA RUN BC I LIKE BEING OUT OF BREATH AND SWEATING AND FEELING ACTIVE AND COOL WAAAAAAAAGH

i LOVE YAPPING

i havent even been into volleyball for long so im kinda scared this hyperfixation is gonna o away but everytime i get a hyperfix, it lasts longer and i get SO MUCH MORE EXCTITED ABOUT IT to like gthe point where i seriously cant breith... i think my autism is trying to KILL ME /j 

but like i cant breathe and i get dizzy bc i start stimming so hard and its kinda embarrassing bc it happens in class when im watching volleyball games from YEARS AGO but its kinda funny bc like ITS JUST VOLLEYBALL and i get so excited over it its rlly silly....

AND HEY GUYS DID I MENTION I LOVE VOLLEYBALL??

I wanna play it so bad rn!!! like i wanna go outside and get my brother to throw the ball at me and then i recieve it and i turn AWESOME but a few days ago like last week we were doing that and the ball POPPED ON EITHER ASTICK OR MY RUSTED BICYCLE but the ball was $5 so its fine and so my mom got me a new one and it was like $20 ???? THATS SO MUCH AND I THINK !!!! ITS GOOD QUALITY BC ITS RLLY COOL AND IT LOOKS COOL and idk much abt volleyballs but my ma said i cant play with it in our backyard bc we have too many sticks and stuff out there and she does NOT want me to pop it and i dont blame her... i think if this one popped i would CRY RLLY HARD... harder than i cried with the $5 ball... (i cried for like 30 seconds LMAO)

I HAVE TO WAIT AN GO TO THE PARK TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL WHICH IS SO SAD bc we only go to the park on weekends UT THATS OKAY BC IF I GO TO THE PARK EVERY SUNDAY THEN I MIGHT B ABLE TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL EVERY SUNDAY BCOZ THERES THISGROUP OF PEOPLE THAT LIKE TO PLAY THEIR EVERY SUNDAY AND I PLAYED IWTH THEM LAST WEEK AND ITS WAS SOOOO COOL... they said i could play again this weekend and im SO excited!!!!!1!!!!! 

a lot of my friends also said they'd help me practice so if the peopl rnt there, i'll still b able to practice bc my friends LOVE ME

I FEEL LIKE IM TYPING IN A RLLY CHILDISH WAY WHICH IS FUNNY bc im graduating highschool in liek a year or two but i js talk like this sometime sbc im silly 

anyways if u decided to read this and got through ALLL of this then youre so awesome for putting up with that bc i didnt try at all for any of that to make sense.... ive just been saying whatever came to my mind !!!