"I wanted you to stay"

I hadn’t thought about saying goodbye

why would I? was I somehow supposed to know you were leaving? was I somehow supposed to be prepared for when you left?

I had thought that maybe you’d stay that maybe I’d be able to celebrate my birthday with you

maybe I was selfish

maybe I was too hopefully

maybe I was just attached

that night, I prayed “For once, I’m fully believing in you, I’m relying on you” I told him “Let her stay, let her live”

The next day you died

I prayed, knowing it was selfish if he didn't have time to save thousands of people why would he for a dog?

I asked myself

yet I still prayed cause I wanted you to stay I wanted to be there to see you get better

So what if I was selfish

I wasn’t taught how to cope with grief why would I want to experience something I can't cope with?

why would I want to loose her

why did we have to loose her

September 24 was her birthday September 24, 2023

I wish you had stayed