"Back in his arms"

On the floor of his dimly lit room, there he sat hugging his knees to his chest photographs and letters surrounded him, he couldn’t help but stare, at the picture on his feet, the TV playing in the background

There in the picture, he and Artem when they were kids, Artem holding a basketball while Elio was holding him a smile on both their faces, and there he saw who he used to be, what he was when Artem was around, what he did when realizing he’d found him again

He reached out to touch the picture, but without realizing it tears had already started falling down his face, he didn't think that he’d lose Artem again

He never dwelled on those thoughts when they came to haunt him on those sleepless nights but, now Artem’s gone and all he’s left with are letters and pictures.

They’re not enough, they used to be enough but now, after experiencing life with Artem, a life where he wasn’t alone, a life where he was happy, a life where he wasn't suffocated

The night continued in tense silence before a choked sob escaped Elio and then as if the cracks that littered his facade finally broke him, there he was on the floor hunched forward holding their pictures, his letters to his chest shaking as choked sobs escaped him

Why had he been so blind, so stupid to see Artem was there, in front of him why had he realized so late, it’d been days since their last talk on that rainy day, and guilt in his stomach, eating him away

He’d wanted to reach out to apologize but every time he did he was reminded of the face Artem made that day, he looked so hurt, and all Elio did was stand there, watch as he walked away feeling helpless

By the time his sobs toned down, he’d been lying on the floor, the letter and photographs still in his arms, he breathes, or well tries to only to release yet another sob escapes his throat

He lay there tears still streaming down his face, his chest tight, his head dizzy from his position and from the amount of energy he’d released, all he wanted was for him to come back

The memories from that day resurface yet again and he curls into himself on the cold floor, refusing to let go of anything he was holding, he closes his eyes letting himself rest on the floor, not finding any energy to stand up to go to his bed

‘I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry–’

as he started to fall asleep with his mind lulled with the repetition of the words before buzzing with the reminder that Artem left, his tears had slowly stopped, too tired to make more

He closed his eyes, letting the coldness of the floor and the sudden quiet that his mind had, ‘am I that tired?’ he asked himself as he felt himself falling deeper into unconsciousness before he heard his window being forced open, he opened his eyes to see Artem in front of his window, in his room, eyes wide

“Elio?” and oh his voice sounded so shaken, he looked Artem in the eyes, before the other immediately went beside him holding Elio’s face and brushing the tears away

“I’m sorry” he finds himself saying as he closes his eyes yet again, letting himself be held by Artem, he feels the other’s hand shake from where it was holding his face

“I’m so sorry Artem” he says again as he feels artem lift him and put him into his bed, he holds Artem’s hand that is holding his face, afraid that if he let go Artem would soon follow, then he feels the bed dip from the space next to him, he opens his eyes only to be met by Artems shirt, he felt Artems arms hold him

“Please let me hold you” he heard the other say

And he did, he let himself be held, warmth seeping back into his bones, he closed his eyes again inching closer to Artem, removing whatever space they had between them, inhaling Artem's scent, as he too wrapped his arms around Artem and they spent the rest of the night in each others hold, in each others presence, content to be in each other's arms