“I want to be so much more“

There are nights I stay awake and wonder why I haven't finished my novel yet

I crave validation, praise, and attention

Then I'm forced to remind myself I can do no such thing I am but a person who seeks more than I have I will never be able to write something like that

I will never be able to love anything I create the mere thought of my work being judged, picked bit by bit– Scares me…

I am no poet, no writer, no novelist only a self-proclaimed one

Only one who would like to be any or all

I have never loved anything I've made How dare I expect other people to do so? Still, I try to Maybe that’s why I want to be an engineer I want to be part of making something something that can outlive me

Build something, Do something for others In ways I cannot with my writing

I may not be a poet, a writer, or a novelist I can be something else

But that does not mean I do not wish to be them

I want to be more than I will ever be in my life Nothing will ever be enough for me I am not enough Nor are my grades Nor are my efforts Nor are my works Nor are my writings I cannot be a poet, a writer, a novelist

I can only be