things to know [about me]

my name is mumble, or dillon, or em, depending on where we meet and who's asking. i'll probably accept any friend requests but i'm unlikely to send any of my own, unless i send about a million all at once. i'm mostly here because i like the idea of casting my net out into the empty expanse and waiting to see if anything bites. and by my net i mean whatever i feel like rambling about in a blog post this week.

i'm 20 years old, turning 21 in april. the excitement of soon being able to legally buy Certain Things is easily overridden by the immediate acknowledgement that i'm close to finishing college. there's still a year left but the first three have gone by so quickly that i know it'll pass even quicker. and then the buffer will be over and i'll have to figure out what i'm going to do next.

speaking of college. i'm an art major with mediocre art skills and social anxiety. i know if i want to move to an art-based career i'll have to be the one to branch out, leave my pitifully small comfort zone, maybe even become my own marketing team depending on the path i take. the thought makes me nauseous. (everything makes me nauseous)

secretly i still think it would be fun to be a youtuber. and who knows, maybe someday i'll actually pluck up the courage to start recording, and maybe someday it'll go somewhere. but that would require actually doing anything other than daydreaming about it, so the likelihood is slim.

others things i'd like to do: become an author, a poet, a singer, a songwriter, a musician, a graphic designer, a cover designer, a fashion designer, a painter, an animator, a comic writer, an illustrator, famous, a hermit. the list goes on, wayyyy too long for someone who lives under the crushing tide of capitalism and who can't seem to actually motivate themselves to do anything anyway.

i really need an adhd diagnosis. and probably a couple other diagnoses, as well. (i'm not anti self-diagnosis but there are certain things i don't want to declare on my own or i feel like i'll manifest further mental illness onto myself)

my favorite color is either green or pink, depending on the day, with orange taking third place. despite all of this, a lot of what i own is blue.

i latch onto kids' media and sometimes it's embarrassing. but also fuck that, fun things are fun! who cares if i like my little pony, or trolls, or warrior cats. it's not like i don't appreciate things actually made for people my age. maybe i'm just more joyous and whimsical than you are.

i am not at all interesting and i think i've run out of things to try and make myself sound more interesting. that's another thing about me. my memory, especially about myself, is awful.

oh yeah, and one more thing. i would really really love to win the lottery, because i already have so much college debt that it--you guessed it--makes me nauseous.