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Minecrafts gone woke [A rant]

Minecrafts now woke-craft: they added liberals and soyjaks to it I swear!

All mobs are now the woke mob, and they/them replaced the enchants with pronouns, also all villagers are now childfree, I'm tired of big tech and holywood pushing their woke agenda into my non polticial game!

The nether is now the "gay-ther" and to build a gay-ther portal I need to make a frame out of pronouns and fill it up with soy milk. The gay-ther is filled with woke demons and faucis lab rats and instead of blaze rods, there are woke microchips. This can't not he an agenda, trying to make our youth and my gay and woke.

I can't attack endermen anymore due to the woke libtard soy-cuck game devs pushing their agenda down my throat and making me gay, now to get ender pearls I need to pay them reparations!

And when I travel to the end dimension, the dragon asks me for my pronouns! I tried attacking it because I'm a small town patriot who is tried of this woke crap being shoved down my throat but the enter they-ragon (those wokes renamed dragon to they-ragon, how woke!) Did it's breath attack and I got hurt.

I was saved from the dragon fight as a female lawyer helped me sue the dragon (I'm not saying they-ragon anymore, mojang sue me (don't actually sue me) I'm tired of this WOKE CRAP!) For breathing on my without my consent. But because of my lack of faith in the modern judicial system (and female lawyers), I fled the courtroom and decided I will defeat the dragon myself.

Now another thing about this "woke craft" I'll remind you, you can't mine resources as it "destroys the organic soy infused environment" you can't hunt animals anymore, instead you can get food from organic farmers or just buy a quick soylent. WHAT KINDA WOKE BULL-SHIT IS THIS!

Also all weapons in woke craft are banned, you can't craft them anyways. BUT I AM A SMALL TOWN PATRIOT! I don't need some "WOKE" taking away my weapons. Fuck your heckin gun laws! So I was armed with a simple iron sword and a crossbow, I knocked all the "woke crystals" out and the dragon could no longer heal. The fight was quick and easy from here on.... Until it wasn't....

The woke mob had got me.... The woke police arrested me for possessing illegal weapons and harming an endangered species or some other woke crap like that. They also wanted me to pay alimony to my absolute BITCH of an ex wife Brenda. But then I remembered something! To defeat the libtards I had to become the libtards.

When I was being dragged off to 1000 Minecraft players simulate prison I looked dead in the eye at the woke police and said. Listen here buddy, like you libtards say "all cops are bad"!

The woke police started becoming depressed ate they brith control and antidepressants or whatever sad liberals eat and let me go as reparations for George Floyd.

Anyways that is my experience playing woke craft, also it is only supported on Apple products because I think maybe that's something the wokes do.

21 Kudos


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luci / nightmare

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and it..... soy powered! โ˜

by tonguewrangler; ; Report

โœž ๐•ฎ๐–†๐–—๐–˜๐–”๐–“ โœž

โœž ๐•ฎ๐–†๐–—๐–˜๐–”๐–“ โœž's profile picture

They just changed Endermen to Endernon-binaries..

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by ใƒใ‚บใƒŸ; ; Report