I Get No Peace (vent)

Things haven't been well for me. I lost my grandmother yesterday, it wasn't even from natural causes, she was hospitalized for internal bleeding and spent her last hours in critical care. I didn't even have enough time to let the death process, because I've found myself having to work, do favors, contend with trying to find a new job and the stresses of either passing assessments or even getting considered, and if I get accepted contend with the responsibilities of which I may be entirely new to, oh, and I may even get pigeonholed into sticking with a job I'm not interested in because I have no other choice, and if I don't commit to it I'd have nothing if other jobs don't pan out.

I hardly have any time to be alone, to recharge, process everything that's happening, and nobody's willing to let me take that time to myself, and I doubt I'll ever.