communication and dentist offices

my day was kind of crummy

i have a big problem communicating how i feel to other people. like saying what im okay and not okay with. i end up in lots of situations where everyone has kind of believed its okay to make jokes about me, even people i really care about! which hurts, i guess, but i can't really blame anyone but myself. 

i didnt feel like talking after lunch so i spent the second half of the day just reading. i had this feeling of like,,, apathy for everything going on. like i couldn't stand anyone. i went to see the assistant principal for something and felt a little better though. it reminded me of those fancy doctor's offices with the nice chairs and the only noise is the receptionist typing and someone reading a magazine. 

offices like that are so nice though. i have all these memories of my mom taking me to dentist appointments after school, and im still in my uniform. watching the news on the little tv in the corner and bothering my mom out of boredom. how we were there until it was dark out and we caught a dollar cab home, or maybe we took the shuttle. how bone-tired we were when we shuffled into bed. when we were there though, it was like this weird limbo where we could see people through the massive windows going about their day, walking into the deli across the street or out of the 99-cent store next door. you could follow people's paths and wondered what they were doing. but you couldn't actually go back out, not until you were done. 

i dont know how to end this so whatever