happy 17th to me

hey space hey users

this year has been just about as good as it could be, and its only February. yesterday wasn't that great but i had a couple of things holding me on. my best friend finally cut off the piece of shit she was talking to, and my girlfriend and i have been going so great. i can finally sing songs that are about 17 yr olds and pretend theyre me haha, i can drive, and get a job, but neither of those are yet to occur. im still a little depressed but yk what can i do about that, ive been depressed my whole life. my little brothers condition is worsening and hes not making it easy for himself. he does stupid shit and i just know my parents are gonna make him sorry for that. i wish i could be there for him, but once im 18 im leaving. i have to do it, if i dont, i will die. i dont exaggerate when i say that either, i will be quite literally pushed to suicide. but i did write in my diary so hah idk that helps sometimes. its nice to be with someone who understands personal space and boundaries, something ive never had before. i dont regret anything that has happened in my life, because i believe they helped me heal in a way, you know, after the initial hurt. i would like it to stay that way, never get into old habits ever again, and never speak to some people. im almost certain im coming back to school my senior year, i just cant graduate online, i will feel like ive done nothing, accomplished nothing. but i have gotten way more credits than i wouldve if i was in public school. one thing im not looking forward to is people at the school. everyone is so immature and its like they all just love drama? how why would you want to make shit harder? school is fucking hard as it is, dont make me deal with your ass too. so you know, thats another reason im thankful for my girlfriend, she doesnt like drama and is straight to the point. i bet even if she was loosing feelings shed tell me right away instead of leading me on, which is bare minimum, but THANK GOD. 

anyway i need to draw more, ive been getting lazy. been thinkin about making a lps custom hah because ive been obsessed ever since i was a kid but could never do it right, definitely trial and error. anyway, i hope life gets better, for you for me, and we can all live happy, separately.

xoxo, swoquix.