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so update
im having a full blown identity/personality crisis
because of the wilbur shit
I based my personality and likes so much on/around him that I don't know who I am anymore
He was such a huge part of who I am (was?) that I'm scared that I'm nothing without some stupid fucking streamer who doesn't even know I fucking exist
I got an hour of sleep last night because I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts. I had to occupy myself with music and videos so I wouldn't spiral.
I can't finish my fucking food, I'm scared of talking, I feel guilty for some reason, I'm losing motivation.
I don't want this.
Everything was finally fucking good.
I have a boyfriend. My grades are finally getting better.
Now I'm losing myself and I don't know what's going to happen.
I'm scared as shit.
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Shroom🍉
Hey listen to me.
You are a beautiful person, whether you based yourself on someone or whatever, you are a beautiful person. I know you're scared, I would be too, but I need you to breathe for me. In and out. deep breaths. When you feel yourself start to panic or feel bad or guilty about this, breathe. Remember you are loved. There are so many people around you who love you for who you are, and whether some guy has allegations around him about abuse or whatever, you are your own person. I love you and that will never change.
ayla ☆
ash i dont know how to say things online and stuff and idk how to type it out so i need to talk to you at lunch if thats ok <33 ilysm