I'M BACK, but where was I all this time?

Holy shit I am back! So sorry for being dead on here for so long, I was focusing on my other accounts. But then I got too busy posting things on them too...and then I fell into a spiral of endless dread and horrendous fortune, and then I rarely do anything nowadays.

For the past 6 months, I have NOT been well at all. Half of the stuff is due to some stuff too personal to mention, but one hint I could say is that the current state of the world is fucked up and it has a number of conflicts that are against my identity in very personal matters. The other half of the stuff is just me always getting bothered by the fact that no matter what I do, will always fail or be ridden with mistakes. Basically, why do I even bother trying anymore? I see everyone creating these amazing things that blows my mind, and everything I attempt at or create just receives nothing but cricket noises, or contain mistakes that are like filthy worms that eats away what I poured my time into.

If I always keep making these fucking mistakes, and always messing up everything I do, I don't want other people to deal with this bullshit and me. I started to distance myself from many things and places, because I DREAD the prospect of myself ruining great things and other people's times. I really, really, loath this stupid ass thing that is my life and my luck.

But this isn't even the end of everything, even though I wish it is. The only things that keeps me going is that I am still curious and I still wanna see stuff happen in the world, and my drive to create more things and draw which is simply way too strong too be curbed. And I fucking hate that. I hate that I make awful pieces of trash that shouldn't even be called art, yet I still have that drive to keep on creating. It's fucked up, and I hate how things are. Thanks to this bullcrap, and some new things I watched, my brain just drags me back to post some more stuff in the future, and put stuff on my other accounts.

Even then, I still feel like I have nowhere else to go on life. And that is why I decided to go back on here. I want to explore what is going on here as well, and let my curiosity know if anything cool pops up. I don't know if I will make new posts here too in the meantime, but I will be exploring here a lot more. Let's see what I can come across and where my nemesis, my life, takes me this time.