Bottled

This post is going to be a little personal. Apologies if this is heavy, or exposing you to a darker side of me. 

In life, I've been hidden to all I speak to. Shame has always consumed me when opening up my true thoughts and feelings with others.

I bottle up my emotions, thoughts, and desires from most people.

Largely because I've never had anyone to confide in as a child and as a growing teen.

No notes app, no spoken word, and my music rarely had expressed my emotions properly

Oftentimes I question my value as a human being due to the flaws in my character that have shown in me hurting others in my past.

I truly care for people, yet, how do I redeem myself objectively so I may finally be free from my punishment?

Many seperations could be a direct result of things I can control. How I treat myself and others is a key example I could think of. But what about strangers? The special strangers who you'd love to be friends with. The unique strangers who you'd like to hold hands with. Why do I feel isolated from the larger population?

Man, I don't know. We ball.