boyfriends

dear blog,

i just woke up a couple of minutes ago, but I've been thinking about writing this all night. I think its just something that's been very heavy on my mind as of late, i covered about it a little bit in my last blog because i do believe that its becoming something that i think about often. Its stupid, i just want a boyfriend or something. a really nerdy one. I've found my days get really boring and long when i don't have somebody to hyper fixate over. i don't ever let my friends get close enough to me because i hate vulnerability, but i always so easily give that to a significant other. i think its because i have trouble finding a line between too much and too little when it comes to "closeness", especially when it comes to friends and lover status. either way, i know what i need and its definitely not a boy in this time, but cant a girl dream? I'm a hopeless romantic. i also often dream of becoming a wife, and a couple of days ago i cried over having a child in the future; or not finding a good man to have a child with. when its time, i want a very traditional life, i want to be a simple housewife who greets her husband when he's home from work, and i want at least 3 kids. i wonder what God has in store for me, i wonder it all of the time. i wonder if I'm wasting my time sitting here rather than going out and looking for someone; but I'm tired of chasing boys and i just want someone to look for me for once. that's how its supposed to be anyways. i want someone to fight for me, someone who has a sweet heart. do boys of such description exist? i ask for so little

love, georgia