some of my poetry

Most of it is venty because I write my best poetry when I'm stressed or upset.

# Birds

My ribs are visible when I breathe
Yet I still think I'm fat
And gross
And disgusting
And unworthy
My waist is small

Yet I still think I'm fat
And undeserving of your love
I have stretch marks
And flabby arms
I wish I was thin

So my bones can jut out of my skin like swords
And protect me from the world
Protect me from words that cut my skin
But they don't protect me from my thoughts

I'm scared that when you see me
Face to face
You'll regret it

I'm scared that when you hold me in your arms
You'll think I'm disgusting

I'm scared that when you see me without clothes for the first time
You'll think I'm not enough

Is it wrong to want to be skin and bones?

# This or That (Unfinished)

This or that
That or this

I'm either like the sun
Masculine and tall
Strong and broad shouldered
Sit with my knees apart like feuding lovers
Slumped in my seat with my head down

Or I'm like the moon
Feminine and short
Frail and elegant like a swan on water
My legs crossed tight with secrets to hide
Slumped in my seat with my head down

Pants or skirts
Dresses or shorts
Bootcut, A-line
Flowing silk, rigid denim

But why can't I be a selenelion?
A dance of the sun and moon
Twisting, turning
Dipping, kissing
Blending into gorgeous shades of vermillion and cornflower blue

Why can't I be me
A person of one name
A person made of the sun and moon
With stars and galaxies
Comets and meteors zipping around

# Unnamed (Unfinished)

I want to sound like wind chimes
As I walk barefoot in the creek
I want to dress in the colors of the sun
And never sleep a wink
I wish I was the color of lavenders
And dandelions all in one