i want to do so much stuff with my life, like be the type of person i want to be, but its so hard! wish i lived on a farm so i could just feed the animals, milk the cows, plant stuff and watch it grow. thats my ultimate fantasy. 

also like, its so weird, i fantasize about romance and envision that for myself but i dont think im fully equipped or mentally ready to have a romantic relationship... like i can totally see myself with a partner on this "farm" but i genuinely can't fathom me changing and growing fundamentally to accommodate that... 

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