Pills.

I hope one day I can get the proper medication I need, I think it'll help me. Or, at least I hope they will. I've only ever taken two medications in my life. One was when I was younger, I took them for my adhd. But my mom use to give me extra dosages so I'd get drugged up and either pass out or turn into some kind of zombie. 

My dad quickly took me off them once he found out.

The other was for my anxiety, but I think they were placebos because they never worked. Or they were just not enough to help me. 

My dad said he doesn't like me taking medication because he thinks they'll mess with my head, and he doesn't want me to turn into a pill popper like my mom. Which, I can't blame him. After what my mom did to me when I was younger, I can't blame him for thinking that way. 

I just wish that sometime in the future when I get the help I need, I'll be put on medication and the voices will stop screaming.