my last moments as a 22 year old

I've been scared of birthdays for a while and, I really really don't remember my childhood ones

This one feels just so different though and, so special

In less than an hour I will be 23, but I don't feel like I'm not ready to get older, or that I'm still gonna be the same young me

I feel like I have been growing so much. In the last few months I learned a lot about my weaknesses and strengths, about what I really need in life and what is hurting me, about my desires and my dislikes. I've been neglecting myself for so long, been so afraid to look through the mirror, and now that I'm losing that fear it feels like I finally am starting to REALLY get to know myself for myself.

After some more minutes, I will be 23, and I feel like I am ready for all the bigger numbers that come next to it, I dont wanna rush anything, the opposite really I'm going to be living every second in my own pace and enjoying all of it. I'm going to reach my objectives, I'm going to buy the things I need and my wives need, we will build good lives together, and work on fun projects, and have our kid, and move as many times as we need, and talk things out, and kiss the pain away.

It might seem silly to be so optimistically certain about this, but it's only because of all that I've lived in the past 22 years that I feel this way, so excited for the next day. In less than half an hour I'm going to be 23, I'll wake up the next day and get myself ready, hold my lover's hand like I've done so many times these days and take the bus back home and greet my kitty, I will see my friends and feel good and play games and go to bed again when I need it, it will be good and I will be happy.

Happy Birthday to me, born February 26th, see you on the next year.