𝙳𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢 #𝟷

So life’s been like 50/50, on one side I want to socialize and be charismatic, attract people, I want people to think I’m fun or cool, but on the other side i don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to leave the house, just rot away in bed. But I also feel socially starved, like I wish I had something to fill up the void. I got told I’m a narcissist multiple times this year (by my mother and psychologist) despite them knowing I’m an extremism at people pleasing, i started to doubt myself, I feel sick. I want everything that I don’t have, and when I get it, I don’t want it anymore. I keep reaching for more and it’s never enough. I’m a greedy little shit that cannot be satisfied and that scares me. I want to be better than myself and everyone else. I want to be recognized knowing damn well I don’t have a drop of real personality and I’m just a fucking copy cat. I’m probably not real, but that’s ok. Either way I’ll try to get better, if that’s possible 

•ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs•