34 | hahahah again

went to another career expo to talk to companies about nurse residency programs for me when I graduate. It eased my worries a lot for when I apply for jobs AND I got tons of free merchandise. I don’t feel as blind anymore.

however, I don’t know if I want to work at a hospital. Ugh, I hate bedside work, but everyone always says that as a new grad that’s what I should go for to sharpen my skills. I guess the upside is that I wouldnt be working a 9-5, 5 day a week type deal. I’ll just apply to like, literally whatever interests me under the sun.

surprisingly managed to land a gig for my band im in, the band Im a ticket collector for invited me to be a guest singer for their next gig. My dad reposted old videos of me singing and it caught their eye. I don’t know if this band stuff is for me because I don’t feel particularly enthusiastic about it. Like I said before, I both dislike performing and my own voice.

I enjoy just selling tickets and don’t want anything more than that. Though, I feel so bad because everyone else seems to love the idea so much and all these opportunities are just falling into my lap without me even trying. Everyone else in the band talks about how much they’ve always wanted to be in one dawg I feel bad. Even if drop out , I got them this gig because I was invited ughhhh I’d feel bad making harder on them

i was thinking to pull through just for them for just one performance, like maybe I’ll even end up liking it! However, I think about when I’ll get hired for my big person job that I’ll most likely hate as well, I’ll go home all tired and shit and then I gotta do band stuff I don’t care much for, personally s day ruiner! I’ll think about it more.