I am in love with a dude i never see :)

heyyyyyy.

so um there is this dude let's call him...pumpkin. So me and pumpkin met when i went to a school that my mum worked at and i was like 6 and we were friends we weren't that close at the time. So my mum worked there so when i moved schools i still went to the camps they had at that school since my mum worked there. And at one camp i was like i think 9 at the time or ten idk but at that camp someone read my diary and told everybody my secrets and the dude who read my diary had to drive home with us but i did not want to go in a car with him. So i went in Pumpkins car because his mum was really nice and was friends with my mum. Then we hanged out and at the time i had a small crush on him but i ignored it. Later on in life the school had an upgrade so i moved back and there was pumpkin and at the time i was 11 and i already formed a crush on him again and we always had lunch together and he would tell me about his lego making or smth idk i just liked hanging out with him. Later on after hanging out for a while he told me he had a crush on my friend and i was fine with it as long as i got to see him happy (i was so jelly lmao).Later on i found out she was dating a girl and i told him and he just nodded.The girl found out i told him and got mad and shouted at me for telling him because apparently it was a secret that they were dating but i did not know it was a secret. I asked her why she's mad and she said that Pumpkins dumb and he will tell everybody that they are dating. He didn't. Anyway after all that it was all goods and things went back to normal. The learning at the school was bad so i decided to move schools but before i left i had a cooking class with pumpkin. We made pumpkin soup and bread. And he said "You know eva , Im going to actually miss you"... WAAAAAA.....anyway like the next year i never saw him and i kinda forgot about him BUT my mum was friends with his mum so i went over to his house last year with my mum and he was taller somehow way more handsome if thats possible and we played nintendo and i played nerf gun fights with his little brother and oh my gosh it made me forget how in love with him i was so now i have a humongous crush on him when i never. ever . see him. SOOOOOOO..i have writ a letter and i will give it to him telling him about how i have liked him for 6 years. idc if he does not like me back cause i know he doesn't i just want to tell him cause i might feel better. BUT i never see him so now i just have a letter in my pocket waiting till i see him again.

T_T

anyway BYEEEEEE 

(pray that i see him again)