Am I The Shitty Friend?

This is going to be a long story so sit back, relax, and enjoy the story

I feel like I fucked up bad with a friend of mine. So for context I’m friends with this girl and she ended up eventually introducing me to her friend, we’ll call him Freddy and a year or 2 after us all being friends Freddy and I end up having sex and my friend speculates that we are for some time and eventually asks us if we are and we both say yeah so she gets angry as fuck and had been holding this over his head ever since. We started dating a couple months ago and ever since we’ve been dating we’ve been hiding it from her and her bf but on VDAY I fucked around and told her that me and him went out to eat on vday and I told her that it was fun and that I had tacos and quesadillas, that’s it. I never told Freddy that I told her this so her bf asks Freddy what we did and Freddy told him that we ended up smoking a little bit and passing out so I told her that I was just joking and admitted that I was lying and apologized. She gets mad and goes on a big rant about how I shouldn’t have lied because it’s not about where I go or what I do it’s about how I feel but when I was with my ex boyfriend he brought me this anime figure unwrapped for my birthday and she gets mad and says how he doesn’t care about me and how he didn’t put any thought into it even though I told her I didn’t care that it was wrapped, I cared that he got me something I wanted. Anyways, she then brings up the fact that I’ve been acting weird because we haven’t really hung out alone since before Thanksgiving other than when I came over with Freddy and when her bf asked me to and I haven’t asked to hang out since July of 2023 and that she’s realizing we’re not as close as she thought we are. Now for more context, my dad passed away in December of 2022 and I am still to this day grieving. She knows this because I’ve told her this multiple times. Another reason we haven’t hung out is because I’m trying to save up to get my own place and it costs me $60 to get back and forth to her house and she wants to hang out at least 2-3 times a week or every couple of weeks. She and her boyfriend also have a car but they both refuse to take the time to come and get me. I can say that they’ve only done it at least like 5 or 6 times and I’ve been over there idk how many times but I know it’s a lot. She also gave me the excuses that she can’t take me home because she’s tired and that she has to work in the morning. Anyways, she also says that we don’t talk as much and that I’m hiding things from her. I do that because she doesn’t always give the best advice. More context, I was told by another one of her close friends that she was always complaining about me always coming to her about my personal issues. She also says the relationship is one sided and that she doesn’t think she can be the same friend to me anymore. She said that we’re only talking as much again because she brought up the fact that I was constantly not talking to her for a day or 2 and blowing her off. Now I will admit that I was wrong for lying and blowing her off but i am not obligated to tell her everything and hang out with her every time she wants to hang out. She also said that she’s not expecting me to be perfect but at least some growth after all these years. I need to show growth after all these years? Her character is the one who completely got worse as she got older. I then ignored that message and stopped talking to her for 3 days. She then goes on twitter talking about she cut me off because I have no loyalty and for someone to tell you to your face that they appreciate you and the friendship and then act different. I still very much appreciate her, the things she’s done for me, and our friendship but I just do not like who she is as a person now. She also sent me another message a few days ago but I refused to read it. Her bf also sent me a text but I refused to read his because I felt like it was about me and her and I already know whatever I say, he’ll just relay the messages to her. It’s been almost a week since I spoke to her and I still feel really shitty because I feel like I had no reason to stop talking to her.