Thoughts #1 - Content Creator

This is honestly just random thoughts. I opened the blog and just typed my brainings. Enjoy

DUDE, HOW DOES ONE EVEN. LIKE FOR REAL?

What I'm getting at is that I have absolutely NO desire to work. Rather, my actual "dream career" is a content creator, play silly games, edit and post them for entertainment. Now how do people even do that?? At this point I've been posting on YT for around 11 years now (on and off constantly and different channels since I never took it seriously until now lmao)

My family and everyone around me casually living normal lives, having typically normal jobs and doing normal little things as one does.

I HATE THE INTERNET. LIKE A LOT A LOT. YET I WANT TO MAKE SILLY VIDEOS AND POST THEM?? Also, how do streamers and YouTubers NOT fan freak out over things they enjoy?? Wouldn't it be weird for some random mf streamer to start freaking out over an actor? Like I have full fan accounts, I make edits on TikTok and I freak out over things. Would people even watch someone that does that like??

I have never seen any creator that is like that and IT PAINS ME. DO I HAVE TO STOP BEING A FAN TO BE A CREATOR? THAT'D BE SUCH A PAIN MY TISM BRAIN COULDN'T.