March ForEver

It was March 2nd, 2022 

I awoke to myself standing over you and with you in my arms and I kind of can't put it into words how you made me feel to hold you in my arms. 

Ever 

Maybe this is your special way of telling me once again to stop being such a mean a-hole to your mother (of which I seriously am trying to.)

WHY DID I SKIP TIME 

I MISSED YOUR FIRSTS 

Well the pre-ones at least! I didn't get to hear your heartbeat over the monitor. I didn't get to see you in the little screen. I didn't have to get up at 2 am to find your mom some doll she craved. I didn't get to do the slick 80 mph on the streets rushing to your birth. 

I really hate the way my brain works!  

I think its funny that your mom told me this morning, " You know I would have been 6 months by now?" and my mind immediately went back to this dream and how I was literally holding your tiny little body in my arms. 

I held you and it really felt real just for a couple of minutes you know. I just felt like time stopped and as if nothing else mattered but you and your mom. For an Eternity I would devote myself to being the perfect parent for not only you, but so that your mom doesn't have to suffer with me. 

I really hope that someday its not just in a dream that I see you as a figment of my imagination, but to see you in real life as well.

If I could bring one of my thoughts to reality it would be you my little nugget. 

Your Dad? Well he seriously needs a re wiring of the head. 

I think of the now and not of the future or the past. Countless times i've had issues with not thinking about the consequences of my actions and what they bring when i screw things up the way I do. I tend to just screw up and demand to be forgiven for every thing that I cause and I never stop to think, "Man I really should think this through before I do something stupid." When I really should question my actions more. 

but, we aren't here to just talk about that. 

Ever you made me proud to be myself because I know that you are only in my head now, but a paret of you somehow lives on in me, and in your mom. Its almost like how Kushina and Minato embedded some of their chakra inside of Naruto so he could see them at some point within his lifetime. Your spirit is in me and ill always just rub my wrist the way I do when i'm in a tough spot because I know you're here. Do us both a favor and visit your mom. She needs you.