random thoughtzzz

ok, so there are a few things I want to talk about but the topics are WAY too short for one blog (to me anyway) so im just gonna talking about some things tht ive been thinking about for a bit, and maybe a few unpopular opinions that i have (not that tyere actually unpopular, but i have yet to see people have to same opinion about them lol)

oki ill just get into it :33

1. self-diagnosed autism

so, earlier today i was scrolling through tumblr and i saw this post that made me so so angry. the post verbatim said :

"People who have self-diagnosed autism only understand it at a surface level and that's why they think they have it"

first of all, this is ironically a very surface level of what self-diagnosis actually is, second of all, genuinely how dumb can you be. people dont go through years and years and years of research of not only autism, but their past, and who they are in general, and why they do and dont do things, just to be told they only have a "surface level" understanding of autism. they dont read old report cards and analyze old videos of themselves and gain tons of peer and family review about how they act and come out with a fucking surface-level understanding of autism. you cant be autistic and have a surface-level understanding of autism

this take also just completely erases the real struggle of getting a formal diagnosis. not all of us were caught at a young age, in fact a lot of us were looked over. not all of us are white. or amab. or have up to $3000 just ready and waiting for us to use for a formal diagnosis. if you actually think this way, dont friend me, or unfriend me, whatever. i dont agree with shit like that here.

2. are they ruining a character or are they just having fun with said character

this is about another post i saw, of course, lol. the video was posted to that one Mitski song and the caption was:

"me when i see an amazingly well-written character stripped of their unique personality just to be reduced to nothing more than a girly 5'1 "twink" bitchboy by chronically online teenage girls"

now, i have a few things to say about this video. and uhm. i realize my opinions on it may be unpopular but thats ok. feel free to disagree ofc! but just speak ur piece, as im not great at arguing with people (like everytime i argue with someone i genuinely feel like im having a heart attack lol)

sooo im just gonna say it...i dont.   think this is.     as much of a problem as ive seen people say it recently. pls listen lol. i have my reasons for thinking this. its not that i dont think the problem exists at all. thats definitely not the case, ive seen this happen to male characters, people wouldnt talk about it if it didnt happen. my problem is that people dont actually know what this looks like, and mistake it for just anytime someone makes a joke bout a character, or anytime someone calls a character hot.

they assume that if people aren't portraying characters as sad sacks of shit all the time, they must not understand their character and how deep they are....which just isnt the case. i actually saw a comment under the video im talking about that pretty much sums up what im talking about, and it was smthn like:

"yall are agreeing the video but ive checked your profile and yall are who opp is talking about"

like, yea, if course its going to look that way. if you think that someone making one offhand joke calling a character a twink or making a post about they wanna suck some part of their body automatically means they dont understand the character, its definitely going to look that way. but that doesnt mean it IS that way. and i think thinking that way is kinda dumb. idk. one example t=i saw someone put in the comments was Miguel Orhara, and it wasnt completely about the people who find him hot, but mostly about the people who dont like him. and i dont like him, so im putting in my 2 cents. im only gonna type this part out once so do some very careful reading: someone disliking a character doesn't mean they don't understand that character.

yes, i know the point of Miguel's character, and i know why he does what he does, and why hes that way, and that hes not a villain but an antagonist. i watched the movie. i still dont like him, and i never will. his actions are still wrong, and whenever i think about the fact that he got his little mob to change a 15-year-old after him having a VERY reasonable reaction to finding out his father is going to be killed in 2 days, i still get angry, because what he did wasnt right and i dont like him because of it. the same goes with Scott Pilgrim (sorry). someone not liking Scott Pilgrim as a person because of what he did doesn't mean they dont understand that people change and grow with time. it just means they still dont like him. thats fucking life. people are gonna not like people till the day they die no matter how much they've changed, its whatever.

anyway, to make a really long thing really short: stop assuming how much people do or dont know about a character based on how they choose to draw or joke about them. people will find characters hot, and theyll find them silly, or find them relatable and project a little or a lot, and thats ok

there also the whole teenage girls bit (weird.) and the fact that this happens to female characters 10x more nd no one ever says anything or has as much uproar about it as they do with male characters but this is good for now.

3. when or when not to say "I love you"

this is actually something that was going on a few years ago, and i NEVER saw anyone with the same opinion as me, so im just gonna put it here to get it off my chest. 

im sure some people had seen the videos before, of people talking about how saying i love you too early was a red flag, and responses being like "how is that a red flag and why are you dating people if you dont love them" blah blah blah

in my opinion, both sides of this argument were incredibly annoying 

ill just talk about the first side first since people seem to generally have the same opinion bout that. someone saying they love you within a week, a month, whatever, is not. a red. flag. not immediately anyway. it doesn't mean theyre going to leave you in the dust within a week or something, it just means they love you and are willing to say it. people are allowed to want to express those words with their partner. and it doesnt mean they dont hold meaning to the word either. for me, if someone says it to me first them I'm definitely willing to say it back. this goes for friends, family, partners, and whoever i can love really. shaming your partner for expressing how they feel and immediately writing them off as a red flag. just express that theyre coming on a little too strong for you and that you need a bit of time before youre able to say it back.

and Literally, the exact same thing goes for the other way around. when the first opinion of "if you say i love you within the first week thats a red flag" started coming up, even more people said the exact opposite. stuff like "how is that a red flag" "i say i love you to my partners within a week" "how can oyu date someone you dont you dont love" yada yada yada. and i always thought it was so annoying because it never felt like people were actually making a case for people who say i love you early in a relationship, but almost shaming people for feeling any kind of uncomfortable early on in a relationship, which is weird. some people are going to be uncomfortable when they hear "i love you" no matter who its from. i have a best friend who i love alot, but i know they're uncomfortable with hearing tht word, so ive never actually told them i love them before, or really expressed how much i care about in a way other than a passive joke. and thats ok. if you say "i love you" to ur partner and they come at you calmly telling you that theyre not ready to hear or say that word back yet, and you come back at them with some "but i do love you" or try to justify making them uncomfortable. sometimes people dont want to hear it early, or wont be able to say it back, and that's ok. what matters is you guys talk about it and communicate with each other

talk it out and if you can come to a middleman, great. if you dont, then talk it out and see where you wanna go from there. its literally as simple as communication from both parties. just talk it the fuck out

4. talking to people on spacehey

nothing too special here, im just becoming frustrated because i want to talk to the people i friend, but they either A. have so mny friends they talk to already i doubt theyd get back to me, or B. are too young in my opinion...

im ok with having younger friends, it just becomes awkward for me! and im already not a good texter, so im not sure how to start any conversations on here. there was one time someone did text, and i got back to them eventually, but they never talked to me again:PP to be sorta fair, i waited almost an entire day to get back to them, so id get it if they wrote me off some kinda way and just chose to not talk to me again:33 but u still want friends on here!! so im going to try to work up any courage i can to message people myself. and if ur reading this and were friends, feel free to message me if u want!! or just interact with me anyway:333 i really enjoy these blogs so i always hope people read them lol.

anyway, thats all!! this was alot longer than i expected to kudos to anyone who actually read the whole thing lol. ill probably make something like this again for sure!! i like getting my thoughts out on here :333 pls feel free to tell me how u feel in the comments (if anyone does choose to comment lol), especially about that middle bit. tooooooodles!!!!

oh, and sorry for any typos here, typing is hard