mywhoreof a boyfriend (this is a rant i think.)

ok, i love my boyfriend. 

i broke up with him after he told me he liked/sexually interested in someone else but he still wanted to be w me because he loved me n i was like."damn.." lol no but yea i told him "ok go be w them then idc." n he went "dont be like that, dont say that." and then i felt bad after because i just acted like i didnt care until it hit. yea that was pretty immature of me i know. 

i didnt break up with him at that exact moment because i wanted to be understanding, BUT LET'S BE FUCKIGN REASONABLE WHY SHOULD I BE UNDERSTANDING????

i remember going on quora to knowe what to do when ur bf tells u he likes someone else, and everyone was like, "omg be understanding to ur bf, hes comfortablre enough to tell u how he feels.." and like yea i underrstand ur POV, BUT ALSO FUCK NO?????? justr because he still loves u or trust u doesnt mean that u gots to put up w ts. hell no.

i told my boyfriend,"did u unfollow vincent." and he said, "i dont rlly have to since we're all friends in a friendgroup" BTICH WTF DOES THAT MEAN??? EAT MY BUTT???

ughh i rlly wanna slap the shit out of myself.

nah but i ended up breaking up w him later ON bc i coulkdnt stop thinking abt it. like bitch eat ur own ass for making me feel that way. SMH. also me breaking up w himw as kinda on a whim because ive been debating it and i just went ahead and did it reandomly. (bettr now than never tho.)

 AND HE TOLD ME THAT SHIT A DAY AFTER MY BDAY TOO LIKE TF???

anyways i broke up w him so he can go w the person he actually desires or wants or whatever, because if its not me then there's no point staying inb a relationship w him. still pissed.

it was one of his friends too. i used to be friends with..lets call him "Vincent." anyways i used to be friends with vincent as well, but i blocked him before i even found out my boyfriend had some sort of fucking feelings for him. (sorry im still fucking pissed.)

anyways i blocked him bc of other reasons not bc of what i found out LATER ON. He also had moved somewhere else too before all that happened. Anyways, pissed as hell and i feel like beating the shit outt both of them. but i aint strong enough for all that. 

anyways my stupid ass wanted to be all forgiving and stuff so it texted my ex (but now boyfriend) that i was sorry and i hope he has a good life because i was kinda being rude or ik i just felt like apologizing for no reason. my dumbass is actuaslly infuriated. 

and i didnt esxpect him to write a whole paragraph back being saying he missed me and still loves and cares about me blah blah and i was like oh ok, "we still just gonna be friends tho bc yea." (im too lazy to go to the screenshots sorryyy)

anyways we were just friendfs now atp he said "u can hit me up if you ever wanna hangout or talk n stuff. i dont mind, ill be free whenever." something like that.

i ended up hanging out w him to this saturday school thing bc he had to go since hes a bad student lol. one of his gross ugly friendfs ( another reason of why i broke uo w him) was there too ew. its kinda funny though because i had a "talking stage" (hate that shit term) w that friend too and when i came back to school for the first day, THEY WERE FRIENDS????? and this was before i met my bf too, at that time me and my boyfriend werent even talking.

ok going off topic. 

ALSO. before i hung out with, like weeks before, SOME RANDOM GIRL told my close friend, that vincent and issac (fake name for my boyfriend) were MAKING OUT AT A FUCKINGT PARK> OH MY FUCKINGGG I WAS LIVID BRUH U DONT UNDERSTAND

 i had to get my ass over it because it was2 weeks after the breakup and i went "stay strong bitch!" 

and i was already getting over him too, but it obviously made feel "U WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG." nah but it did kinda hurt a bit. anyways im just gonna stop here and write later.

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summary

imma add this so in remember what to write later if i even feel  like it.

(we hung out at saturday school because i was bored and wanted 2 go out.)

i always wondered what i did to make him like someone else. i did ask him why he even liked vince. (other than the sex dream he had of him a few days prior, thats why he was being so quiet and weird w me days before my birthday and the day after.)

i asked him and he said, " i dont know i just do." or somnething like that. and i was annoyed because i wish he HAD a reason.A good reason. It's better than wondering what I did wrong. I didnt really do anything wrong. We had a healthy relationship?? i think maybe i wasnt affectionate enough to him at times. but i just wasnt used to that. 

i do remember him saying its because he felt comfortable w vincent. and i was like, "do unot feel like taht w me?" and he said of course he does, he's just confused. 

anyways, last words, dontget SOO close to someone that you start liking them. U have to stop urself from anything happening or distance urself. esp if ur in a relationship.

i dont know