helloo

hi again. i decided i should write a blog every day, or at least try to.

today was another agonizingly mundane day, as usual. woke up, finished some homework, and cleaned a bit. there's nothing much else to do. my room is still partially messy, and it's easy to tidy the rest of the things up, but i don't really feel like it. i love wiping things down with lysol wipes. the smell is literally my favorite. its just something about it, the citrus hints to it, the fake 'clean' smell. i just love that smell. anyways, ive been journaling a lot recently. ive almost finished a notebook in 2 weeks! which is crazy to me because usually, i always lose interest and move on to a better notebook. yesterday was friday,  i didn't meet any friends. thats okay. meeting friends is always so stressful to me. it feels like everyone dislikes me. im sure they do not focus on me or anything like that, because im just another person, and people do not care that much. i just hate hanging out with anyone. i forget the purpose of why we are meeting and focus on silly things, like how i look, or if what i said meant anything to them, which it clearly didnt. maybe im just so utterly self centered but simultaneously introverted. thats a bad personaility to have, and its tiring. i just hate to think sometimes.