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i’m ruined now
i sometimes wish time just went backwards or i just never popped into existence
all my growth
all my happiness
gone because of him
what a great time to be alone
i don’t know anymore
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i’m ruined now
i sometimes wish time just went backwards or i just never popped into existence
all my growth
all my happiness
gone because of him
what a great time to be alone
0 Kudos
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caden
why’d i type this while feeling depressed asf
i keep tabs on u kid cuz u worry me but i promise shit gets better. life is never always gunna be sunshine and rainbows but it does get better. think about it! do u really think youll be hung up on this shit in.a year??? NO YOU WONT so itll be okay just focus on yourslef and improving your own life itll be alright
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
kinda moved on fast brother idk who to trust anymore tho
by caden; ; Report
for some reason i’m showing signs of PTSD tho
by caden; ; Report
think about it caden?... are you gonna let some dumb child leave you with PTSD FUCK NO
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
i haven’t updated in a while but one of my tests had sort of a faint positive a week or two ago and i jus felt some vomit coming up my damn throat, had to swallow that shit DOWN
and my tummy is gon get scanned tomorrow so they can find out wtf is wrong w me rn
by caden; ; Report
keep me updated man i think the pregnancy arc is gonnna end here soon. good luck
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
aahhhh the appointment’s today
i wonder what they’ll find is causing me nausea n pain but whatever it is i already have someone ready to help me get it surgically removed from my body just in case
by caden; ; Report
look at that caden 💯💯 life ain’t so bad. ain’t nothing but a peanut right? you’re not pregnant
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
the faint positive isn’t still helping me tho i don’t even know my results yet on my tummy
also i can’t sleep well anymore and my stomach has been hurting for like a month and a half already like ik everyone’s telling me it’s nothing but my symptoms are getting worser
by caden; ; Report
why is it so hard for them to confirm whether or not you're pregnant? Can't they do an ultrasound or something like that? I'm sorry you're in so much pain I hope things get better soon
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
also um i kinda looked more into the knowledge of pregnancy tests and false negatives are more common than false positives so it’s not really helping me unless the doctor officially confirms to me because i don’t trust a single thing my shitty ex says
by caden; ; Report
i just really want someone to medically help me atp because the changes that are happening to my body are hurting me
by caden; ; Report
what are the options theyre giving you so that you might be able to feel better?
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
i’ve done the most i can to try and help myself but nothing is working
by caden; ; Report
jhust one more day caden! youll be okay just remember a bad day doesn't reflect a bad life hang in there I'm always here to lend an ear
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
thank you bro i genuinely appreciate this sm from
the bottom of my heart rn
by caden; ; Report
Peace and love Caden i'll be here to help you man
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
turns out i have HSV-1
luckily my symptoms are kinda going away but i’ve been self-isolating myself and i think i need IV treatment because as a disabled person i tend to forget to take my meds
i’m gonna be receiving medical treatment even when i turn 18 because my insurance has benefits to take care of disabled people like me medically and financially
by caden; ; Report
phew.,.... well at least its not a kid
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
i think it was almost one??
i had shat out 3 big blood clots on my period and my stomach looks less big now
by caden; ; Report
man i feel like a fucking outcast rn cause i got SA’d
i didn’t even actually consent to what he did to me
that mf kept asking me ab sex repeatedly and i told him no plus he forced my legs open when i tried closing them
by caden; ; Report
dawg i would’ve been okay with getting pregnant because i could just abort it not end up with a disease that i didn’t ask for that’ll end up untreated because my mom emotionally and physically neglects my health
by caden; ; Report
i’m sorry caden i’m sure it’s been hard :/ is there any way you can get treatment for it?? i wish you the best and i hope things get better for you… are you gonna go to the police for the guy?
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
already went to the police and the hospital filed a SA report because of what he did to me, they’re currently searching for him to arrest him
what’s funny is that he villainizes me and victim blames me, plus he tried gaslighting me into thinking i’ve always had this when i can clearly show my childhood photos and tell you i’ve never had it before
he acts like he doesn’t care when he should care because he’s the one who diseased me
i’ve been feeling like dogshit these past few days and i finally convinced my mom rn to take me to a doctor
by caden; ; Report
idk why he villainizes me and acts like he’s the victim when i never did anything rude or mean to him
he was literally acting weird asf to me even when i had covid
by caden; ; Report
bye my angry ass ex texted me rn
i’m just gonna ghost and ignore him cause atp idgaf
by caden; ; Report
my question is….. why are you still talking to him
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
i only confronted him ab why he diseased me that’s all then i stopped texting him bc eh
he texted me outta the blue but i never saw the message bc i deleted the app
by caden; ; Report
also i have a feeling he gave me more than hsv-1 because i haven’t been feeling great lately
by caden; ; Report
which also explains why my period suddenly became irregular and less heavy when it’s usually heavy asf and regular
by caden; ; Report
did the doctors not check... for anything else? Attitude is everything Caden it's all about resilience,,,,,, DONT LET THIS KNOCK YOU DOWN THIS IS NOT THE CADEN I KNOW. i do hope you start to feel better
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
still haven’t gone to the doctor yet
also i’ve been nauseous asf again and my tummy looks bigger than usual
i tried shatting the literal shit out of my shit and all i feel is pressure on my tummy is that normal
by caden; ; Report
i’m going to sue him for SA’ing me and intentionally giving me a disease on purpose
and yes i can afford a lawyer they’re not that expensive
but if i win the case i’ll donate the money so they can find a cure faster, i’m still untreated and it’s affected my physical life really negatively
by caden; ; Report
i’d rather donate so that it can positively impact my life instead of me living with something i didn’t ask for forever
by caden; ; Report
do you think you’ll win the case/ do you have proper amount of evidence… i’m sure it’s been tough but yeah keep me in the loop of what the doctor says
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
i can assure you i will win, i have evidence against him and i also have proof that he was the one who diseased me
because i can look my baby photos and photos before i met him and i have no cold sores, the most i’ve ever gotten were canker sores and those aren’t hsv-1
he also lies a lot because one i didn’t give myself this disease, you have to come into contact w someone in order to get a disease and two i don’t even live near him or in the same city, at the end of the day he and i are strangers outside the relationship
also he admitted to lying ab using a condom on me because he used it on another girl
he also smokes and drinks illegally so um lil bro is def getting jailed
by caden; ; Report
he also kissed me without my consent
by caden; ; Report
i don’t know if the doctor will confirm anything, my mom kinda medically neglects me lil bro
by caden; ; Report
also he’s very manipulative, i can remember most of the weird shit he told me, he compared himself to jeffrey dahmer the week i was ill w covid, and he once told me he’d kidnap me
by caden; ; Report
well... you should defintely start talking to your lawyer because I think the longer you wait, the harder it will be to plead your case!!! good luck caden
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
i could probably use my disability check to pay for a lawyer tbh
also since he lives in the same state as me he could legally get his ass whooped bc he’s done a bunch of crimes
i’ll update you on it and if i actually win tho :3
by caden; ; Report
lol i was supposed to have a doctor’s appointment but they rescheduled it to next week plus i’m picking up my antidepressants tomorrow
by caden; ; Report
okay so um i’m pretty sure he gave me something other than hsv too because my periods just suddenly became irregular and not heavy, like i normally have them once per month and now IT’S NOT EVEN HERE LIKE IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE
by caden; ; Report
maybe... hormones T_T im not sure im sorry..... but yeah for sure update me on the case and how it goes..
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report
i kinda researched a little n diseases can cause your period to turn irregular and since he lied ab using a condom on me it’s most likely that
i finally have an appointment later on today so yippee!! :D
by caden; ; Report
fuck it was just a psychologist appointment
also i’m having a harder time breathing and i spat out mucus w blood in it which means i have a respiratory tract infection but my mom will most likely never get me treated and it’ll just get worser and worser from here
by caden; ; Report
jeezus what i’m sorry dude this year has been so tough for you….. dipshit mom fr keep me updated if you’re feeling better
by degen_aphrodite13; ; Report