it's quiet in beverly hills

i don't listen to much of yungblud but for some reason i get into moods where i listen to their song it's quiet in beverly hills on repeat for a few days. it feels so sentimental, yet yearning slash longing, yet hopeful in a way. 

i know the song is mostly about like, hollywood and the fakeness of it and being a person inside of that system. but i think the whole song can relate to The Person individually in varying situations besides just hollywood and music people. because i think it's a very human thing to feel trapped within yourself, or isolated from the people around you whether physically or because of the things one feels internally. so i wanted to break down the song because !! i have lots of feelings and thoughts about it :3 it evokes so many interesting feelings for me no matter how many times i hear it, and i love songs that are bittersweet yet hopeful. there are few that hit that mark, and this is one for me!! :3

p.s. it's late so i will not be proofreading this tonight and idk if i will later on fhsdkjflh simply raw thought and emotion!!

p.p.s. i'll say 'hollywood' throughout this as a general way to talk about the entertainment industry :3

TW//MENTIONS OF S.H. AND TAKING ONE'S OWN LIFE

he opens the song saying, 'i'm sat inside a goldfish tank where people fix themselves with rubber bands.' i understand this line relates to being in the entertainment industry, where people look at you and ogle as if you are just A Thing to watch, and to cope with that entertainers go through various means. however, i also see it as,,,when a goldfish is in a tank, it's also looking out at the world around it. it's watching everything move around it, move past it. everything is moving around you while you are stuck in this bubble of your own world. it coexists with everyone else outside of the metaphorical tank, but it's not A Part of the goings-on outside. that's lonely. also, seeing things through water looks distorted in some ways compared to being out of water. that distorted view, those distorted feelings and thoughts, it acts in a way to alienate the person experiencing them, furthering their isolation. rubber bands can technically be used as a form of self harm that doesn't directly damage the person in a way other means might. thus, it is also used to help someone not hurt themselves in worse ways, the effects of using rubber bands being temporary. it doesn't leave any permanent marks left behind unlike other forms of s.h.. when the redness subsides, the skin looks fine from the outside. therefore, others won't 'believe that {you are} different.' even though you feel isolated or like everything is moving on around you without you, you may not want to draw attention to yourself and worry those around you. rubber bands on the wrist can seem casual, like you're prepared in case of a binding or tying emergency. from the outside, no one would question it or think you are in pain.

the next lines go, 'i'm on a ledge that's two feet high and contemplating silent suicide.' something being two feet on the ground can seem like not a big deal to some. but to others, that can be a great leap. those two feet could be A Lot for one to handle. it's like, it's a certain struggle being represented with the two-feet-high ledge that those who get it will see the difficulty, while those who don't simply won't. all of these 'little' things,,,these things that 'aren't supposed to be a big deal,,,' they add up over time. that can lead one to contemplate such drastic measures as stated in the lyrics. 

'when everybody seemed to make it, it's quiet in beverly hills. i'm tired in beverly hills.' beverly hills is known to be The Place in california. you know you've 'made it' monetarily and status-wise if you can afford to live in beverly hills. if i'm not mistaken, parties tend to happen a lot in beverly hills that are very much If You're Someone You Can Come. the most fashionable, high-end place suddenly losing its liveliness? that's a bit unsettling. i'd imagine a place that is usually filled with life suddenly getting dead,,,and sitting in that quiet,,,that's an uneasy feeling. like something's missing. like hey,,,this void should be filled but i cannot fill it myself so i will simply take it in. maybe you don't feel much about the silence either, though, depending on how you process things. it may just be 'oh, logically this isn't normal, but i'm not very bothered. i simply Acknowledge. how odd this is, though.'

with the chorus 'i'll love you all of my life until you close your eyes for good' that's like,,,you have that hope inside of you still despite the emptiness or hurt you may feel. you carry that love with you still. but you have those worries and thoughts of 'oh, this person will die one day. i won't have them forever. they will be gone at some point.' this life is temporary, yet until that very last moment, that very last breath, you vow to care for them just the same as you are now. that's so beautiful. the oddness aside, the numbness and the sorrow, you still have that compassion within you. that's an amazing thing.

the second verse starts with kind of a story. maybe a bit of a confession on behalf of the people they're describing. but it states, 'see, i got friends who fuck their friends and play pretend so they can dream again, and buy their hearts from online shopping.' people !! trying to do people things with other people to cope !! then pretend as if they didn't just indulge in a person thing and pretend that those people didn't do it either, perhaps to their faces perhaps to others!!!! the too-common human pipeline. it may not be Right necessarily, but it happens so much, it seems in these lyrics, that it simply Is. retail therapy is commonly used to try to mend that void that comes once those People ways of coping are over. it was only temporary, doing People things. and retail therapy also provides temporary relief, but you can do it over and over again much easier and quicker than having to engage with others as a vice. in addition, items and clothes can be a way to show off someone's individual interests! like they're bearing their heart, their internal likes, out in the open. 

next comes the lines, 'and when what you see is make-believe you pride yourself on what you fail to be.' this line isn't immediate to me like the others, so i'll be processing it by writing out my thoughts here. mmm, perhaps this one is like,,,you know how online people will post unfiltered pictures as a proud way to be like hey !! i'm human and i have human skin with texture and bumps and lines just like you !! i believe this is the same concept. hollywood is full of fakeness, but so are the digital spaces around the common person. media has changed our perceptions so much on what is 'normal' and such, that it's easy to get lost in that. but many in recent years have been like, even in their own lives not just online, 'i am human !! and i am proud of that!! i am not giving into these delusions and traps built for me by industries and corporations!!!'

'therapy told me my blood was orange.' hm. i think the choice for the color orange was interesting. i suppose it could have just been used as a near rhyme for 'shopping,' but i like reading too deeply into things if you can't tell fhdsjklfhs I FEEL INTENSELY CONSTANTLY OKOK. orange isn't that far off from red, especially depending on the shade. orange is right next to red on the color wheel too, so it's like !! his blood is Almost like everyone else's. but even his very essence cannot relate with the common person. i feel we are all unique individually, no two people can ever be the same and that's beautiful to me!! but these differences we have,,,we can look at in ourselves and be like 'this isn't something relatable. few would be able to understand this. this is Bad.' how very human. i'm not saying this at all like i can't relate, oh i so badly can. but i think it's such a universal experience, it makes it Human. unrelatability then can lead once again to isolation, which is a major theme in this song it seems, as well as in the Human Experience. it seems the feelings behind this line are opposite of the last ones. rather than being proud or finding some positive in the unrelatability of this difference, yungblud looks down on it and sees it as something painful.

now, the prechorus is changed a bit. now it goes, 'it's quiet in beverly hills. i'm dying in beverly hills. i'm lying in beverly hills. you're flying in beverly hills.' perhaps he feels that he isn't cut out for this lifestyle, not really. it's killing him, whether mentally, emotionally, morally, or even physically. adapting to his environment by lying is giving into the very things he is fighting against, which is an interesting thought. but also, it's natural to want to conform to the things around you, especially for survival. also, the idea of having to always Seem Fine is suffocating, adding to feeling like you're dying in the environment you've been put in. yungblud once again establishes a difference between him and those around him, saying that they're flying (or doing great) within that fake environment. i feel this is so relatable even outside of fake environments. if you feel like you're lacking while those around you are moving forward and seem like they're doing great, i feel it's very human to point that out to put your own self down. it's like, Oh, You're Well And I'm Not. Good For You, But We Aren't The Same.

i'm gonna post this now and not look back HAHHAHHAHFDKJSH I DON'T FEEL LIKE PROOFREADING ALL THAT SHIT. i hope my thoughts and feelings were able to come across though!! it's all very complex, and i'm still learning how to articulate those kinds of very specific feelings. if you've read this far, thank you so much!! if you have any thoughts of your own on this song and its lyrics, i'd love to hear them!! i love talking about music :3 thank uuuu!!! :3333