giving + blog for td

i don't usually expect anything in return, but giving you my whole heart just to get a cough and hack is enough to upset me. i give and give and give until my heart caves in on itself. my cycle seems to never end. i've never received a rose as a boy - i do not think i ever will.

my heart is heavy with my empty plate. please feed me, it's starving.

anyways, things that happened today:

i didn't go to school today, so nothing really happened with my friends. none of them contacted me about not going to school, only my girlfriend.

i only listened to benoftheweek's podcast. i didn't do much of anything media-related, but i did go to band practice. i don't mean clarinets and flutes and violas and all that jazz (pun) i mean 2 guitarists and 1 bassist and 1 drummer and 1 singer (me). its awesome and also i am starting singing lessons on mondays [sob sob].

i'm not sure my gf likes me. i still love her though. 

i am still manifesting my hissing cockroaches. [sob sob no money]

i finally finished my mask and it took me like 4 weeks because i kept messing up. its still pretty messed up and also makes me want to sneeze. 

this was like the only thing i'm proud of today. please no hate or i will lasso myself.

main mood for today? i hate myself. bye

much love to all, ed