how things are going for me right now

so here i am. sitting down. typing away my thoughts and emotions on this little page right here.

and none of these emotions are pleasant.

they're all horrible.

i've been feeling like shit recently because everything is so overwhelming and i don't know how to control it all.

i'm behind on my thesis, i'm behind on schoolwork, i haven't found anywhere to go for my internship, i don't feel safe or accommodated at school, in fact i'm reluctant to go.

i'm crying all the time. i feel so exhausted and fatigued. i barely got any sleep last night (4h). i don't feel like eating at all. my bedroom looks like a damn pigsty. i barely bathe and smell like shit.

i can't tell anyone how i'm feeling because if i do they'll be pissed off at me for not being able to do anything.

everyone's just so damn annoying and i feel constantly overstimulated.

i just wanna quit, i feel like i have nothing to look forward to in the future.

no one gets what it's like to be an autistic high schooler who needs more accommodations than anyone is willing to admit, and doesn't get them at all (at least in real life).

i just wanna quit.