npd looking at me aftr saving my life:

npd fr saved my life. if i didnt think the way i do i would have killed myself a long time ago. the sheer guilt i can feel for the smallest of mistakes has caused me 2 relapse n attempt many times in the past, and npd making me feel like the 1 in the right saved me. some ppl are lesser than me, theres no arguing that, but ive come to appreciate my npd protecting me from ppl who i believed were better than me. i often fall back on my steps n forget any promise i might hv evr made w myself 2 not talk 2 ppl anymr, but i will try my best to keep my head up this time around. is it wrong n unhealthy? yes ofc. will i still do it bc it saves my life? also yes ofc. if you wrong me ill never look back, if i wrong you ill believe youre being ungrateful or unreasonable, n im the 1 in the right. it works great, highly reccomend. 10/10. might relapse 2day but im trying 2 convince myslf a cis guy would never care abt this, so ill probably b chillin. still scared but i should b able to push through it. im probably gna sleep a lot. wont go to skool tmrw.