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One of the hardest things in life, in my opinion, is letting go of people you thought would be there until the end. That one special person who used to make your bad days good and your sadness disappear, is the reason you're now having a bad day full of hard to explain sadness. I've had my fair share of letting go of people who meant the absolute world to me. Some of those people were also those I loved with every inch of my being and would take any bullet or wound for.
It hurts to know that they're probably out there happy without me, but I'm just glad that they can be themselves and enjoy life. Do I still think about them from time to time, yes. Does it hurt knowing that they're happy without me, incredibly so but it doesn't stop me from going on with my life. It's kinda funny how this is sometimes the case of letting people go, is that you make a new friend while you let go of the other one xD Don't think of me as rude for saying that, I just think the coincidence of it is funny and amuses me.
Growing up, life has taught me that you need people to feel certain emotions. I don't know if that's true for everyone, but for someone who grew up in a mentally unstable environment constantly filled with abuse, having someone care about you and makes you feel loved is kinda scary. The once non-existent emotions suddenly filling your body and mind is like taking a drug for the first time. You're not used to it and sort of scared of the effects until you get used to them (THIS IS NOT PROMOTING DRUGS!!!!!)
Just know that it is sometimes good for you to let go of people especially toxic ones. But sometimes, it's the toxic ones that bring emotions into your life, even the good emotions. You get used to them, start falling for them, but then they use your love against you and have you trapped in their web of lies and manipulation. Hear me out though, once you let go of that person, of course it's going to be hard, no one said it was going to be easy. But once you let them go and start finding yourself, you'll realize just how much better your life is without them.
IDK if this was a vent/rant or just a normal blog, but if someone reads it and it helps them, then YAHOO! TTYL Cuties xP
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