why i hate everyone at school

okay so i don't know exactly how long this will be but how much of things i write is kinda unperdictible. 

so i'm in 7th grade (im 13 don't ban me lmao) and as i've heard people say when i was in 6th grade or 5th grade that 7th grade was gonna be the worst year of middle school ever. and so i thought "eh. it's probably not even that bad" but 7th grade is the worst thing ever. so, i basically missed all of 5th grade AND like all of 6th grade due to my medical condition and i missed out on a lot of like social shit and i kinda forgot how to make friends and became really introverted and stuff. so when i actually went to school irl again for the first time in literally like almost 3 years it was utterly terrifying. i mean, the first day wasn't BAD i just really didn't wanna interact with people because i had like horrible social anxiety and i still kinda do ngl. but anyways, the first few weeks of school weren't that bad in itself i was passing all of my classes (besides math) and i was doing pretty good despite my ongoing medical condition still interfering with school but that's not what i'm talking ab lmao.

 so like about 2-4 weeks into school i was in 2nd period n this kid was talking ab something i don't really remember what but he was like "you, you and her" and he asked me "what's ur gender not to be rude or anything" and i said i was trans cause technically i am (im genderfluid) and he was like "oh. okay" and i didn't really think anything of it until this girl zoei that i sat with told me that that SAME kid was talking shit abt me and he said that i was weird for being trans so there's that. then another incident that happened during 1st period where we like worked together in groups in history or whatever and this girl infront of the whole class FUCKING KICKS THE BACK OF MY KNEES AND SAID "why do ur knees bend like that" 😭 idk man. why don't you tell me why they bend like that?? and istg everyone looked at me it was so embarrasing and i was actually so sad abt that. but anyways onto the next thing that's also a problem. a few ppl have came up to me before and have said shit like "hey friend!" when i don't even know them or they pretend to be my friend and i know they don't like me but im too scared to just tell them to fuck off. also not to mention the same girl that kicked my knees we were talking at lunch like talking shit ab this girl cuz she always wants to fight ppl and the girl who kicked my knees said "and ___ called you fat and the thing is, you aren't even fat you look anorexic" like what the fuckkkk i don't know why i didn't swing at her at the moment but i should've tbh. another big thing that happened was when my friend pretty recently told me that one day when i wore shorts to school she told me that the popular kids said ab me "wow that kid is like.. rly skinny it looks like he has an ed" wtf is wrong with you what did i ever do to you for you to be so rude to me for no reason and i don't even know you? lmao.

 not to mention the fact that most of my friends at that school i feel like they're fake. they never can hang out w me apparently. barley even talk to me and i just feel like there's something going on that i just don't know about. most ppl at my school literally hate me for no reason and i can't even exaggerate on that because they just do. ppl have stared at me, said smth negative as fuck towards me and like everything it's so weird..

 two more honorable mentions before i end this though. the same girl who kicked me knees called me the t slur twice (she knows im trans. she's a cis woman) and very recently like a few days ago literally these girls came up to me at gym bcs we had to go there cause our teacher wasn't there and she asked "r u a girl or boy" which is a question i get asked like everyday but anyways.. i said i was a guy bcs i am and she was like "oh, okay" so then they came back to me AGAIN and that same girl asked "umm were u taking pictures of us?" and i said no because i literally wasn't then she was like "swear on god" and i sweared then she was like "okay" THEN CAME BACK FOR A THIRD TIME and started asking me random questuons like how old i was, what grade i was in, my favourite color etc and i answered everything truthfully and like the whole time when these girls were ab to approach me they were laughing so i knew they didn't like me. so when i went to see what the boys were doing at volleyball i saw one of the girls AND SHE LITERALLY BACKED UP AWAY FROM ME LIKE WHATT then the final thing they asked me is if i wanted to take a picture w them and i said no cause i knew how that was gonna go and they were like okay and that was it. 

but um i would appreciate if you guys would please comment on this about your personal opinion or give advice i'd really appreciate that thank you!