Journal Entry #96: 02/10/24 - Strengthen Up, Buttercup

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First of all, the hackathon was pretty fun. It was nice meeting new people and learning about databases, which is something I'm not completely familiar with. My group decided to make a scheduling web application. I was tasked with UI and I proceeded to struggle. Our project in the end was not fully put together, meaning my UI was essentially a poster. Again, this was a good experience, as it made me realize that I'm not as skilled in HTML and CSS as I thought I was. In fact, I tried to build a project this weekend and kind of failed since I just don't have the knowledge yet. Back to the basics I go.

As much as I loved the hackathon though, part of me regrets going. I took my first Cal II exam and there is almost no way I made a passing grade. I really should've spent the past weekend studying. Thankfully one exam will be dropped, but starting off on the wrong foot is not a good sign. I need this course if I want to succeed further in my degree program. 

Speaking of, I'm in the process of registering for courses for this summer and fall. I'll take a course over the summer which will probably be engineering statistics. I don't think I'll be able to secure a summer internship so at least I'll have this course to take. I know my mom would be extremely frustrated if I were to bum around this summer. 

Yesterday I spent some time texting my cousin. Surprisingly his name starts with the letter X, so I'll call him that. X is roughly a year older than me and goes to Rice University as a music major. He visited me at my grad party this past spring and we exchanged messaging accounts. Every couple of months or so we text about what we're doing and how we're feeling. He also manages to give me a little advice each time. I am very grateful to have him as a cousin. In a way, he acts as an older brother to me since I'm the oldest in my immediate family. It especially helps since I'm on my own and I have to make a lot of choices for myself.

Also, I want to talk about the weather again. It's so cloudy! Can I get a cloudless weekend, please? I don't want it to be cold anymore, I really want to wear my jean skirt. Man, I just want the weather to be warm and for the trees to be green. I've seen a few plants begin to show signs of flowering, so hopefully, spring will be here soon. 

Oh, and Valentine's Day is coming up. When it comes to the surface level, I think it's really tacky. I don't hate red but seeing it in such abundance is an eyesore. I like chocolate, and I have fond memories of elementary school Valentine's Days. I've always seen Valentine's Day as an all-inclusive holiday. What I mean by that is that all types of love can and should be celebrated. Yes, corporations push romance a lot, but we all know it's not the only kind of love. What I don't understand is the ridiculous amount of disillusioned people. You know, the people who mope and dread Valentine's Day. They reinforce what they think is true by complaining about how single and incomplete they are. I've never understood this need. Yes, I have the desire for companionship and a little bit of romance, but I don't feel incomplete or ashamed if it is unfulfilled. I thought it had something to do with my super small friend circle, but even isolated people feel this way. My advice for these people is just to pretend that Valentine's Day is normal and stay inside.

I also bought some chocolates for my boyfriend(?). We really haven't defined the relationship and it's still somewhat surface level. However, he's taken me on a few dates, and I hope these chocolates suffice as a 'thank you'. I don't normally see him on Wednesdays, but he'll likely ask about my plans on Tuesday. Also on a slightly unrelated note, I find it funny that Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday are on the same day. It always feels like some Christian holiday meshes with another more secular holiday every couple of years.

Anyway, I need to stay strong.

Boa noite,

AstraGenesis  ┈━═☆

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